Constant compassionate kindness

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tomschwarz
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Constant compassionate kindness

Postby tomschwarz » Tue Nov 15, 2016 11:38 pm

Hello brothers and sisters,

Now you may ask yourself is this Tom Schwarz person (whoever that really is) starting another thread about being nice? What an idiot - and he is not even nice him/herself!!!

But consider this, many of you have identified the risk of being phony-nice as though that was at least as big a problem as being brash. But on this forum are there no guidelines warning against being phony-nice, why? Can you find something in our Buddhist Dharma on the risks/downfalls associated with holding in your negative feelings and acting nice. The guidelines here are to avoid mean or brash speech. Is that not our greater problem? Or do you disagree?

"In your constant, compassionate kindness, nurture me as your disciple and may we never be apart I pray!

Show your loving face and bestow your joyful sublime instruction to us, your sincerely devoted lineage-holder heirs."

The Chariot of Devotion, the second dudjom rinpoche, jigdral yeshe dorje
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby Ayu » Wed Nov 16, 2016 9:13 am

Not everybody can radiate gracious loving kindness all the time to the outside. I mean, even teachers, Lamas, gurus, have different "moods". And there is a need for different behavior at different times.
We have to adjust to those different times. At a time of concentration, a time of retreat or of showing seriousness there is no time for to smile.

The main point is, we have to concentrate on our own behavior only, and we should know we can't judge the amount of compassion somebody else has. Looking from the outside we cannot really judge. Hence it is more secure to simply detect ones own perceptions, acknowledge them.
Let other people be wrathful, unfriendly, excited - they are only dealing with themselves. It's not about you, and they will learn their lesson, as soon as they are ready.
I have decided to stick with love.
Hate is too great a burden to bear.
- Martin Luther King, Jr. -

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby muni » Wed Nov 16, 2016 9:46 am

That invites to look inside and see own made mistakes. Since these are all home-made. When my deluded focus is on how people here are deluded, how another is not compassionate, then do not expect compassion other than my theatre performance. An enlightened master sees the dirty laundry or the fake nature and helps to clean, that is not the same as me projecting my delusions.
But actually we suffer without compassion, without genuine nice-ness ( I have no word for that). There is no inner peace. Because there is at least a subtle attachment-aversion as basis and so no clear mind-heart at all.

Yesterday a master told a story. It was about a student who was bowing down for his master, asking for his blessings. The master responded by bowing even deeper down and he asked humbly for the student his devotion. By devotion blessings can be.
That devotion for the master, if we lose that, then for me there is no master at all. I repeat it is so for me. And in that devotion all fake-ness melts, is gone and at the same time compassion is.
In my deluded moments, I am running crazy and no devotion nor compassion is, only a lot of craziness. So forget being nice or compassionate!

When the mud sinks and some calm clarity can arise then a small prayer; may I never be separate of you my beloved Master la.

But then waaahaaa, there is said, keep your devotion for you! Okay, but, I wanted to say that because in genuine devotion compassion is as well. It is actually the same light.
http://www.tenzinzopa.com/Ebooks/Cttb_B ... mplete.pdf

Rest in natural great peace this exhausted mind,
Beaten helplessly by karma and neurotic thoughts
Like the relentless fury of the pounding waves
In the infinite ocean of samsara.
Rest in natural great peace. — Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby Wayfarer » Wed Nov 16, 2016 10:04 am

'We have to find within the heart where the tap is to loving kindness. Unless that tap is turned on, the well will be dry.'
In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few ~ Suzuki-roshi

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby Bristollad » Wed Nov 16, 2016 2:48 pm

Can you find something in our Buddhist Dharma on the risks/downfalls associated with holding in your negative feelings and acting nice.

The first part of what you say here, not expressing our negative feelings could be seen as appropriate but acting nice is the wrong way to go I think.

Abhisamayalamkara, Chapter 4, verse 43 in reference to the signs of irreversibility of a bodhisattva on the path of preparation
Absence of a crooked mind; training,
Adopting, absence of miserliness and so forth;
Progressing toward the truth of dharmata;
Seeking hell for the welfare of sentient beings;


Haribhadra's expands this by having
absence of a crooked mind through pure roots of virtue

Gyaltsab Je explains:
The subject - a sharp faculty bodhisattva abiding on the peak level of the path of preparation possesses absence of a crooked mind that is an attention to one's welfare motivated by deceit and dissimilation through pure bodhisattva's behaviour, roots of virtue,


So one of the signs of irreversibility of a bodhisattva is not having a crooked mind - that is not behaving outwardly in accordance with a bodhisattva's conduct whilst inwardly only being concerned with one's own welfare. For me, this is a clear instruction against being false. Our task is to make the constant compassionate kindness genuine. Meanwhile, sometimes I struggle to manage politeness. But pretending kindness, acting nice...this seems to me to be a sign one is caught up in the 8 worldly dharmas, worried about one's reputation and standing.

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby Jeff H » Wed Nov 16, 2016 4:00 pm

Ayu wrote:Not everybody can radiate gracious loving kindness all the time to the outside. I mean, even teachers, Lamas, gurus, have different "moods". And there is a need for different behavior at different times.
We have to adjust to those different times. At a time of concentration, a time of retreat or of showing seriousness there is no time for to smile.

The main point is, we have to concentrate on our own behavior only, and we should know we can't judge the amount of compassion somebody else has. Looking from the outside we cannot really judge. Hence it is more secure to simply detect ones own perceptions, acknowledge them.
Let other people be wrathful, unfriendly, excited - they are only dealing with themselves. It's not about you, and they will learn their lesson, as soon as they are ready.

I think Ayu has nailed it here.

The correct standard is nurturing loving compassion within our own hearts. Outward signs of this are, of course, important. But it is our own, inward reality that is most important. A realized being with clairvoyance can authoritatively address the discrepancies in someone else’s inward and outward signs, but the rest of us can’t.

I think your concern, Tom, may be that many DW participants seem quite aggressive in their arguments, while also seeming to cling tenaciously to their own view points. Indeed, those could be signs of a lack of Dharma development, but I certainly am not qualified to judge it so in every instance. A certain poster who hasn't been around for a while once made it quite clear that he judged your “dear-brothers-and-sisters” writing style to be disingenuous. Who was he to judge?

When we waste our time judging others or trying to establish a standard for all that resonates with our own expectations, we are likely to miss what they have to teach us. I often find DW quite harsh but I don’t come here for strokes or expecting to mingle with fully realized buddhas. And I am learning quite a lot about things, and in ways, that I never expected. The way one uses their observations of others' behavior internally is far more important than what it tells them about the other person.

My teacher, Ven. Robina, is always very kind and soft with me. But that is only because I have not fully committed yet. I’ve seen her be very hard with her more advanced students, and I believe she exhibits both behaviors out of love.
We who are like children shrink from pain but love its causes. - Shantideva

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby muni » Thu Nov 17, 2016 10:37 am

being phony-nice as though that was at least as big a problem as being brash


I have been reflecting about this "phony-nice" and "brash". Phony-nice means artificial nice, right?
Both are coming from personhood and are leaving traces. Both are actually acting with an expectation. Hope and fear?
That can be to please the other so that he/she likes me or maybe to quick finish the interaction ( yes sir have a nice evening and run to the moon now)...or so. And brash/rude can be with the intention to show power, crushing/beating one or dominating one by irritations... Both are actually suffering, since these actions by such are coming from me, the individual. The individual trying to survive in its’ outer world.
http://www.tenzinzopa.com/Ebooks/Cttb_B ... mplete.pdf

Rest in natural great peace this exhausted mind,
Beaten helplessly by karma and neurotic thoughts
Like the relentless fury of the pounding waves
In the infinite ocean of samsara.
Rest in natural great peace. — Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby Admin_PC » Fri Nov 18, 2016 7:38 pm

Mod Note: Removed some posts that were reported for meta-discussion. It's okay to discuss areas where we need to improve, but as soon as you point the finger at others & make demands of them in regards to their posting, it becomes an issue.
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tomschwarz
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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby tomschwarz » Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:15 pm

muni wrote:
being phony-nice as though that was at least as big a problem as being brash


I have been reflecting about this "phony-nice" and "brash". Phony-nice means artificial nice, right?
Both are coming from personhood and are leaving traces. Both are actually acting with an expectation. Hope and fear?
That can be to please the other so that he/she likes me or maybe to quick finish the interaction ( yes sir have a nice evening and run to the moon now)...or so. And brash/rude can be with the intention to show power, crushing/beating one or dominating one by irritations... Both are actually suffering, since these actions by such are coming from me, the individual. The individual trying to survive in its’ outer world.



Yes of course muni. You understand the language and the subtleties of the language perfectly. And also quite clear is that there is one guiding principle that answers all these questions about how to act here and there: real Buddhist love. Absolute love.

It's very simple. I care for you. So I am no one/nothing/empty and defend no territory. Your energy flows, therefore, in full effect, into my mind. Then comes skillful means: what is the absolute best thing to do right now for your stable happiness? Is it patience, say and do nothing? Is it something to do or say that you want? Just like sidartha gautamas guidelines on right speech, there is a case where you say something the person does not want to hear, but that is quite rare, then timing, style, intention, emptiness realization, etc... of course means everything...

What we call absolute love, simply caring and working tirelessly and without ego-interest what-so-ever for the stable happiness of others, based on both the wisdom and skillful means we are aware of, that is the answer to all questions about how to act.

Disagree?
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby muni » Fri Dec 23, 2016 1:00 pm

………. La,

Even genuine love of nondual awareness can be ( mistakenly) seen as one, when there is the mistaken basis and so a belief of being “oneself one”. And then from that ( perceiver), the “other one” ( the perceived) "has characteristics" which are then accepted or rejected by the idea to be one (the perceiver).
In Absolute Love, there is no acceptation or rejection. Sweet or bitter, right or false, good or bad, aren’t since all opposites need an agent to be possible to be. You told once a Bodhisattva even helps in Hell. Perhaps because of having realized the nonexistence of any opposites?

Deep apologizes. _/\_


Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche:

The 'unexcelled state of unity' is not attained independantly of means and knowledge. The means is proper conduct which is extremely important. Knowledge is the view. In the context of a bodhisattva, the conduct is the six paramitas, while the view is original wakefulness,
in which emptiness and compassion are indivisible.


Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche:

What propels us endlessly through samsara is dualistic thinking. And what all the different approaches come down to is how the task of dualistic thinking is dissolved.


We need to gradually dispense with conceptual thinking.
In non-dual awareness, conceptual thinking cannot remain.

What we call the dualistic mind is always involved in upholding the concepts of perceiver and perceived. Rigpa however, (original wakefulness, non-dual awareness) is by nature without duality.


This self-existing wakefulness doesn't have to be thought of to be so. ( quote from Rainbow Painting)
http://www.tenzinzopa.com/Ebooks/Cttb_B ... mplete.pdf

Rest in natural great peace this exhausted mind,
Beaten helplessly by karma and neurotic thoughts
Like the relentless fury of the pounding waves
In the infinite ocean of samsara.
Rest in natural great peace. — Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby White Lotus » Tue Dec 27, 2016 7:00 pm

Does the wise man know his own compassion? I feel there is one here. I feel his/her compassion and it is beautiful. :namaste:
in any matters of importance. dont rely on me. i may not know what i am talking about. take what i say as mere speculation. i am not ordained. nor do i have a formal training. i do believe though that if i am wrong on any point. there are those on this site who i hope will quickly point out my mistakes.

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby muni » Sat Dec 31, 2016 11:21 am

When leaving discussions, debates some moments for what they are, it becomes clear that without Bodhichitta there is no Dharma at all. I have been studying, reciting mantras, done kora, pilgrimages, retreats..., but even given by Enlightened Emanations, what sense it makes without connection on that moment, without Bodhichitta? What sense it makes when I say: come on, let me out of my prison, I want to be enlightened! It doesn’t work at all, it is another delusion, a new form of suffering. With such intention it is not Dharma. Please, correct me where I am wrong.

Constant compassionate kindness as the title says here is by Bodhichitta, right? If so, it is not just a kindness. By Bodhichitta there is liberation, since without there is no Wisdom, there is no Wisdom by knowledge alone. Insightful knowledge is necessary but is alone not liberating. As how then can there be everlasting peace, impartial kindness, impartial love and so primordial goodness what means Buddhahood?

Perhaps knowledge is like a needful match, but without that thing on the box to scratch along, there will be no flame, in same way without Bodhichitta, there is no Buddhahood. I can possess many matches but Wisdom is not a possession.
What is called conventional Bodhichitta, seems to support the intention why we study, practise, it then is getting a chance to flow into Bodhichitta/Wisdom. Bodhichitta/Wisdom is what I feel from where, or perhaps better said, as what 'Masters' are talking.

Lucky there are enlightened emanations, benefitting all of us, as selfless impartially blessing- teachings, there is nothing to find on what we call earth, as beauty as that. Emaho!
http://www.tenzinzopa.com/Ebooks/Cttb_B ... mplete.pdf

Rest in natural great peace this exhausted mind,
Beaten helplessly by karma and neurotic thoughts
Like the relentless fury of the pounding waves
In the infinite ocean of samsara.
Rest in natural great peace. — Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby tomschwarz » Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:54 am

Wonderful muni )))) And exactly what his holiness the tender hearted wisdom master from Tibet and dalai lama has been teaching the last few days in Delhi. In short the core of the path and the most significant progress on the path depend on boddhiccita and wisdom.

Here is day 2 of three (shantideva guide)

[video] https://youtu.be/bozR9uqwmHg [/video]

I think we must deepen our practice of Buddhism. Not the flash in the pan over the last 2000 years that we call "Buddhism " but the truth of all things. This is what his holiness is doing by directly bridging all truth seeking practices with "buddist" practice (science, other religions, secular ethics, etc...). I am certain that the path to truth begins for us exactly as his holiness lays out, and you yourself explain. with caring loving kindness and overcoming a fixation on self (centered perspective)
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA

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Re: Constant compassionate kindness

Postby Felix » Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:55 pm

muni wrote:When leaving discussions, debates some moments for what they are, it becomes clear that without Bodhichitta there is no Dharma at all. I have been studying, reciting mantras, done kora, pilgrimages, retreats..., but even given by Enlightened Emanations, what sense it makes without connection on that moment, without Bodhichitta? What sense it makes when I say: come on, let me out of my prison, I want to be enlightened! It doesn’t work at all, it is another delusion, a new form of suffering. With such intention it is not Dharma. Please, correct me where I am wrong.

Constant compassionate kindness as the title says here is by Bodhichitta, right? If so, it is not just a kindness. By Bodhichitta there is liberation, since without there is no Wisdom, there is no Wisdom by knowledge alone. Insightful knowledge is necessary but is alone not liberating. As how then can there be everlasting peace, impartial kindness, impartial love and so primordial goodness what means Buddhahood?

Perhaps knowledge is like a needful match, but without that thing on the box to scratch along, there will be no flame, in same way without Bodhichitta, there is no Buddhahood. I can possess many matches but Wisdom is not a possession.
What is called conventional Bodhichitta, seems to support the intention why we study, practise, it then is getting a chance to flow into Bodhichitta/Wisdom. Bodhichitta/Wisdom is what I feel from where, or perhaps better said, as what 'Masters' are talking.

Lucky there are enlightened emanations, benefitting all of us, as selfless impartially blessing- teachings, there is nothing to find on what we call earth, as beauty as that. Emaho!


That is the view as found in Sutrayana. That we lack something, in your metaphor the strip of sandpaper which provides the friction for the match.
The Dzogchen view is different. It is that Bodhicitta is the natural state already existing, and that no effort of will or the generation of feelings can create true Bodhicitta. Feelings of goodwill to all women and men may well have kinds of benefits
Emotional, psychological and even physical, but the Dzogchen view is that true Bodhicitta is seen, realised, not generated.
And this seeing depends not on our will alone, no matter how well intentioned ,but rather on being introduced to our original mind.


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