Desire and Aversion

General discussion, particularly exploring the Dharma in the modern world.
[N.B. This is the forum that was called ‘Exploring Buddhism’. The new name simply describes it better.]
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Re: Desire and Aversion

Post by Kuluru » Sat Oct 07, 2017 9:57 pm

Tirisilex wrote:
Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:09 pm
Am I doing something bad by eliminating sex completely out of my life?
From the Dhammika Sutta:

"Now I shall tell you the household’s rule,
by practising which one’s a good hearkener [...]

Let the intelligent person live a celibate life,
as one would avoid a pit of glowing coals;
but being unable to live the celibate life,
go not beyond the bounds with others’ partners."

Tirisilex wrote:
Fri Sep 22, 2017 8:00 pm
So I'm still open to romantic relationships.
Still open to suffering. ;)

Mönlam Tharchin
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Re: Desire and Aversion

Post by Mönlam Tharchin » Sat Oct 07, 2017 11:19 pm

Some people are asexual. Whether that's you, only you can say.
With a heart wandering in ignorance down this path and that
to guide me, I simply say Namu-amida-butsu.
-- Ippen

"If sentient beings are touched by His radiance, their three afflictions will be eliminated and their bodies and minds will become gentle. They will be filled with joy and exuberance as benevolence arises in their minds. If those who are in extreme suffering, taking any of the three evil life-journeys, see this radiance, they can rest, no more pain or distress." -- Sutra of Amitāyus Buddha

The Teachings of Master Hōnen

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Location: California

Re: Desire and Aversion

Post by TharpaChodron » Sun Oct 08, 2017 2:20 am

it sounds like your therapist might be letting his own biases get in the way. As Vasana said, what is important is how does your feelings of being asexual affect your life. In mental health diagnosis how something impacts or impairs a person's functioning is really the most important factor.

It could be that trying to fit into the "dominant cultural narrative" that sex is an essential part of life and happiness might be what is bothering you.

you're the expert in your own life so only you may be able to uncover the truth.

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