Hello dear friends,
People can say "i dont love you". This statement can destroy a persons happiness.
This statement "i do not love you" assumes relative or conditional love. So does it mean nothing to us Buddhists with our eggs firmly in the basket of absolute/unconditional love? Do we just feel compassion for the person who says this? Or do we feel a loss, because we strive to feel loved, as is said in Vajrasatvas 100 Syllable mantra "anurakto me bhava"?
How does Buddhism or even Buddhahood help us to deal with this?
I dont love you
- tomschwarz
- Posts: 778
- Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2015 12:31 am
I dont love you
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA
Re: I dont love you
Here is a Buddhist response: Thank you for not loving what is not.
The Zazen Boys: I don't wanna be with you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP1-i6CObeo
The Zazen Boys: I don't wanna be with you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP1-i6CObeo
Re: I dont love you
It is an issue that has many aspects since Buddhists are not Buddhas yet.tomschwarz wrote: ↑Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:12 pm Hello dear friends,
People can say "i dont love you". This statement can destroy a persons happiness.
This statement "i do not love you" assumes relative or conditional love. So does it mean nothing to us Buddhists with our eggs firmly in the basket of absolute/unconditional love? Do we just feel compassion for the person who says this? Or do we feel a loss, because we strive to feel loved, as is said in Vajrasatvas 100 Syllable mantra "anurakto me bhava"?
How does Buddhism or even Buddhahood help us to deal with this?
First of all, love is free. Noone can demand another person to love him/her. If someone tells me "I don't love you", it's only a fact. It is honest to tell it. I can't blame anybody for not loving me. Maybe they have their reasons. Maybe I'm not loveable or they are not able to love. In any case there is noone to blame.
On the other hand, if someone says "I don't love you anymore and I am going to leave you alone with all those worldly affairs we accumulated together" - probably that's a shame. If a husband decides to stop paying for the house or if a wife stops taking care of the children, it causes much distress.
For a couple, the term "I love you" is like a contract: because we love eachother, we build a common future with many practical aspects. This kind of love is not in heaven, it affects issues that happen here on earth. This becomes more relevant the more years of togetherness passed.
I experienced that Buddhism is a real and precious helper in those times of separation. Although I was hurt to my bones (by "Now, after 20 years, I don't love you anymore", ) we managed to keep peacefully. May this state of mind never change.
Re: I dont love you
If we actually felt unconditional love this wouldn’t be an issue.tomschwarz wrote: ↑Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:12 pm Hello dear friends,
People can say "i dont love you". This statement can destroy a persons happiness.
This statement "i do not love you" assumes relative or conditional love. So does it mean nothing to us Buddhists with our eggs firmly in the basket of absolute/unconditional love? Do we just feel compassion for the person who says this? Or do we feel a loss, because we strive to feel loved, as is said in Vajrasatvas 100 Syllable mantra "anurakto me bhava"?
How does Buddhism or even Buddhahood help us to deal with this?
- tomschwarz
- Posts: 778
- Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2015 12:31 am
Re: I dont love you
In Buddism we learn not to be attached, we achieve equanimity, then we learn not to be attached to equinimity. There is a part of the mind that has obscurations, and that part may wish to create relationships, end them, recieve affection/to be loved.
But the underlying nature of mind exists teanspearantly, in the background. It is like the head of the duck, with the beak flapping about and being struck by the flying pieces of bread. Agree? Disagree?
But the underlying nature of mind exists teanspearantly, in the background. It is like the head of the duck, with the beak flapping about and being struck by the flying pieces of bread. Agree? Disagree?
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA
Re: I dont love you
I like the duck image, that's funny!
Re: I dont love you
Agree.tomschwarz wrote: ↑Tue Nov 21, 2017 11:22 pm In Buddism we learn not to be attached, we achieve equanimity, then we learn not to be attached to equinimity. There is a part of the mind that has obscurations, and that part may wish to create relationships, end them, recieve affection/to be loved.
But the underlying nature of mind exists teanspearantly, in the background. It is like the head of the duck, with the beak flapping about and being struck by the flying pieces of bread. Agree? Disagree?
Re: I dont love you
Don't feed ducks bread! It's not healthy for them. Whole or cracked corn is better.
I speak from experience:
I speak from experience:
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily ...
Re: I dont love you
ducks!