Accept, respect, love, gone

General discussion, particularly exploring the Dharma in the modern world.
[N.B. This is the forum that was called ‘Exploring Buddhism’. The new name simply describes it better.]
muni
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by muni » Tue Jul 24, 2018 9:18 am

kausalya wrote:
Sun Jul 22, 2018 4:06 am

Hmmm... good points... :anjali:

I have to reiterate, it is best if children do receive love, because this will reduce their obstacles in later life, and because children may be especially liable to suffering from not being able to make sense of why they're going through something, why their parent doesn't love them, etc. When we grow into adults, though, or even teenagers (really, as soon as possible), it's desirable to work through these things by developing a way to come to peace with them, at least through the use of our reasoning abilities, at first.

I suspect HHDL is correct in that this experience is generally an obstacle, but it's also an "obstacle blessing," and it can be one of the reasons why someone decides to pursue the dharma...

We have to suffer a certain amount before we decide to look for a better way to conduct our lives. That's why a human rebirth is considered optimal: there's a chance of obtaining enough comfort that we can devote ourselves to practice, but the suffering we experience is enough to actually motivate us to practice.

Practices like tonglen are hard for everyone to do, not just for people who lacked loving childhoods. Still, we all have to start somewhere, and I would encourage anyone to just start, regardless of how good they are. Any effort counts.

Other teachings show us how to protect ourselves from "stupid compassion," where people have an opportunity to take advantage of us before we're skillful enough to stop the harm.

Those who are proud of the suffering they cause simply have to suffer more before they get sick of it. No one can convince them better than their own experience with the misery of samsara. Compassion will arise for everyone at some point... it's simply a matter of time. It's not our job to convince them if they aren't ready, but we can show compassion toward them ourselves if we are ready. I'm not suggesting that people should attempt to open themselves all at once, but rather that we should try our best and do what we can according to our circumstances.

The best thing we can do is to be an example to others who may not practice dharma, who do various things to hurt us or bother us, etc... this doesn't mean we have to remain close to them so that these unwelcome things can continue, but we should appreciate them for offering themselves as the object of our practice, because they teach us better than anyone about the state of our mind.
You have given answer how to see through daily life, how to put Dharma into daily life, which is not always so easy as Dharma in words. Practice helps, even this is not actually remarked directly, still like the sky it is becoming clearer. This so for all of us.
When brothers - sisters are trying to hurt each other, the hurted one can use this for patience. Because without such there is no need to practice patience, there is no opportunity to see own grasping either when all are loving us and all is fine. Then samsara isn't so bad and I sit here fine, so happily smiling in my nice samsara.

Now H H Dalai Lama said we sometimes must use countermeasures to avoid further damage or further suffering by harmful karma.
When a child is in a awful nightmare screaming of fear, usually a mother or father remains not quiet on their cushion but try to awaken the child, telling don't be afraid darling, it is just a dream.

But it is not so easy. There would be no politics, no wars, no any conflicts, if it were so easy and no Dharma would be necessary.
This falls under what you said about the skills to stop the suffering harm, which I see not possible by experience of me. Saying others who harm are great teachers is wonderful but not the whole picture in interactions, there must be responsible care. Just as a master cares for his-her student to avoid lower realms -experience.

All are Buddha Nature, even drugs dealers and so are victim of their own confusion. There are by harm only victims H H said, even the perpetrator is a victim and need right care, right compassion. Alas it can be very hard to "think" so, looking to the terrorist killing a mass of people. And still it is, victim of delusion.
“ Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek. ”
H H Dalai Lama

"Relax." nirvana-samsara do not stray from spaciousness.

muni
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by muni » Tue Jul 24, 2018 10:38 am

Patience, kindness, generosity, meditation and wisdom should help me
:namaste:
By that can 'right' care certainly flow, care for *oneself and therefore for all*

Thank you.
“ Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek. ”
H H Dalai Lama

"Relax." nirvana-samsara do not stray from spaciousness.

kausalya
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by kausalya » Tue Jul 24, 2018 4:34 pm

muni wrote:
Tue Jul 24, 2018 9:18 am
kausalya wrote:
Sun Jul 22, 2018 4:06 am

Hmmm... good points... :anjali:

I have to reiterate, it is best if children do receive love, because this will reduce their obstacles in later life, and because children may be especially liable to suffering from not being able to make sense of why they're going through something, why their parent doesn't love them, etc. When we grow into adults, though, or even teenagers (really, as soon as possible), it's desirable to work through these things by developing a way to come to peace with them, at least through the use of our reasoning abilities, at first.

I suspect HHDL is correct in that this experience is generally an obstacle, but it's also an "obstacle blessing," and it can be one of the reasons why someone decides to pursue the dharma...

We have to suffer a certain amount before we decide to look for a better way to conduct our lives. That's why a human rebirth is considered optimal: there's a chance of obtaining enough comfort that we can devote ourselves to practice, but the suffering we experience is enough to actually motivate us to practice.

Practices like tonglen are hard for everyone to do, not just for people who lacked loving childhoods. Still, we all have to start somewhere, and I would encourage anyone to just start, regardless of how good they are. Any effort counts.

Other teachings show us how to protect ourselves from "stupid compassion," where people have an opportunity to take advantage of us before we're skillful enough to stop the harm.

Those who are proud of the suffering they cause simply have to suffer more before they get sick of it. No one can convince them better than their own experience with the misery of samsara. Compassion will arise for everyone at some point... it's simply a matter of time. It's not our job to convince them if they aren't ready, but we can show compassion toward them ourselves if we are ready. I'm not suggesting that people should attempt to open themselves all at once, but rather that we should try our best and do what we can according to our circumstances.

The best thing we can do is to be an example to others who may not practice dharma, who do various things to hurt us or bother us, etc... this doesn't mean we have to remain close to them so that these unwelcome things can continue, but we should appreciate them for offering themselves as the object of our practice, because they teach us better than anyone about the state of our mind.
You have given answer how to see through daily life, how to put Dharma into daily life, which is not always so easy as Dharma in words. Practice helps, even this is not actually remarked directly, still like the sky it is becoming clearer. This so for all of us.
When brothers - sisters are trying to hurt each other, the hurted one can use this for patience. Because without such there is no need to practice patience, there is no opportunity to see own grasping either when all are loving us and all is fine. Then samsara isn't so bad and I sit here fine, so happily smiling in my nice samsara.

Now H H Dalai Lama said we sometimes must use countermeasures to avoid further damage or further suffering by harmful karma.
When a child is in a awful nightmare screaming of fear, usually a mother or father remains not quiet on their cushion but try to awaken the child, telling don't be afraid darling, it is just a dream.

But it is not so easy. There would be no politics, no wars, no any conflicts, if it were so easy and no Dharma would be necessary.
This falls under what you said about the skills to stop the suffering harm, which I see not possible by experience of me. Saying others who harm are great teachers is wonderful but not the whole picture in interactions, there must be responsible care. Just as a master cares for his-her student to avoid lower realms -experience.

All are Buddha Nature, even drugs dealers and so are victim of their own confusion. There are by harm only victims H H said, even the perpetrator is a victim and need right care, right compassion. Alas it can be very hard to "think" so, looking to the terrorist killing a mass of people. And still it is, victim of delusion.
Dharma in daily life is easy compared to intellectual dharma. Intellectual dharma has all kinds of debates and arguments associated with it, sectarianism, politics... in daily life we just absorb the teachings that attract us, cultivate a relationship with the teacher, and follow the advice we're given. We see the results or we don't; if we don't, we get clarification, reflect, and practice more. This is why all of my advice is focused on daily life... it's the only human life we can be sure of.

External events must not be allowed to overwhelm you. Politics and the rest will rage on outside of you, but the dharma will protect you, because it has entered your heart and mixed with your mind. Fear stops... then we just have to help others not to fear. Don't take such phenomena personally; these are the dreams. Cut out all thoughts except what you can do yourself to help others. Everything else is outside of our sphere of influence... let other people worry about that except in our prayers.

There is nothing to do except apply the dharma to this life, & thus ensure we can practice in future lives.
"Open sky does not abide, nor do sentient beings."

muni
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by muni » Tue Jul 24, 2018 5:15 pm

Apply in daily life, is the way to integrate. Other ways what sense Dharma makes? You say that is easy... :spy:
It becomes probably easier the more there is awareness, there is familiarization..
“ Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek. ”
H H Dalai Lama

"Relax." nirvana-samsara do not stray from spaciousness.

kausalya
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by kausalya » Tue Jul 24, 2018 5:24 pm

muni wrote:
Tue Jul 24, 2018 5:15 pm
Apply in daily life, is the way to integrate. Other ways what sense Dharma makes? You say that is easy... :spy:
It becomes probably easier the more there is awareness, there is familiarization..
It becomes easy when you contemplate renunciation, see what is serving you & others & your practice and what is not. Renouncing = giving up attachment to this life, freeing you to use whatever you need to ensure you make it to your next life in one piece so you can practice again. We still have enjoyments, we still have a life, but we can say no when people ask us to do something that conflicts with our practice, because it has a higher purpose.

If you can get that down, you will save years upon years of struggle.

You only have this moment, and you only have what is in front of you. Make the best offering you can :smile:
"Open sky does not abide, nor do sentient beings."

muni
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by muni » Wed Jul 25, 2018 8:12 am

Renunciation is one of the three possible ways for freedom from confusion. :namaste:

Hi Kausalya,
I re-read your two last posts and just to give an example of how interpretation of what we write can run funny:

"You must not be attached to this dream in order to make the jump into another dream so that you are ensured the awakening help continues."

Thinking on another life can probably encourage. While to contemplate about own death gives very much strength to me, since confusion is what continues ( other life), not a "me", and not sure how that confusion continues.

We have only this moment, you say. Yes.
In this impermanent dream, impartial love and compassion can shine.

*May all be free*
“ Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek. ”
H H Dalai Lama

"Relax." nirvana-samsara do not stray from spaciousness.

kausalya
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by kausalya » Wed Jul 25, 2018 11:58 am

muni wrote:
Wed Jul 25, 2018 8:12 am
Renunciation is one of the three possible ways for freedom from confusion. :namaste:

Hi Kausalya,
I re-read your two last posts and just to give an example of how interpretation of what we write can run funny:

"You must not be attached to this dream in order to make the jump into another dream so that you are ensured the awakening help continues."

Thinking on another life can probably encourage. While to contemplate about own death gives very much strength to me, since confusion is what continues ( other life), not a "me", and not sure how that confusion continues.

We have only this moment, you say. Yes.
In this impermanent dream, impartial love and compassion can shine.

*May all be free*
According to my tradition, at least, all 3 aspects of the path—renunciation, bodhichitta, and correct meditation on emptiness—are vital to becoming enlightened.

Yes, confusion continues. The goal is to at least have the tools to deal with that if it remains when we're here next time.

Thanks for talking with me!
"Open sky does not abide, nor do sentient beings."

amanitamusc
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by amanitamusc » Wed Jul 25, 2018 9:37 pm

kausalya wrote:
Wed Jul 25, 2018 11:58 am
muni wrote:
Wed Jul 25, 2018 8:12 am
Renunciation is one of the three possible ways for freedom from confusion. :namaste:

Hi Kausalya,
I re-read your two last posts and just to give an example of how interpretation of what we write can run funny:

"You must not be attached to this dream in order to make the jump into another dream so that you are ensured the awakening help continues."

Thinking on another life can probably encourage. While to contemplate about own death gives very much strength to me, since confusion is what continues ( other life), not a "me", and not sure how that confusion continues.

We have only this moment, you say. Yes.
In this impermanent dream, impartial love and compassion can shine.

*May all be free*
According to my tradition, at least, all 3 aspects of the path—renunciation, bodhichitta, and correct meditation on emptiness—are vital to becoming enlightened.

Yes, confusion continues. The goal is to at least have the tools to deal with that if it remains when we're here next time.

Thanks for talking with me!
What is your tradition?

muni
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by muni » Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:07 pm

kausalya wrote:
Wed Jul 25, 2018 11:58 am
muni wrote:
Wed Jul 25, 2018 8:12 am
Renunciation is one of the three possible ways for freedom from confusion. :namaste:

Hi Kausalya,
I re-read your two last posts and just to give an example of how interpretation of what we write can run funny:

"You must not be attached to this dream in order to make the jump into another dream so that you are ensured the awakening help continues."

Thinking on another life can probably encourage. While to contemplate about own death gives very much strength to me, since confusion is what continues ( other life), not a "me", and not sure how that confusion continues.

We have only this moment, you say. Yes.
In this impermanent dream, impartial love and compassion can shine.

*May all be free*
According to my tradition, at least, all 3 aspects of the path—renunciation, bodhichitta, and correct meditation on emptiness—are vital to becoming enlightened.

Yes, confusion continues. The goal is to at least have the tools to deal with that if it remains when we're here next time.

Thanks for talking with me!
:namaste:
“ Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek. ”
H H Dalai Lama

"Relax." nirvana-samsara do not stray from spaciousness.

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tomschwarz
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by tomschwarz » Thu Jul 26, 2018 10:08 pm

muni wrote:
Tue Jul 24, 2018 9:18 am
even the perpetrator is a victim
bazarro... ...i said that to my dad 35 years ago and never heard it since... great to hear that from you muni. thank you. bazarro.

i think for us this is common understanding.... logic. but at that time, in my culture it was a foreign idea... that idea arose to me on the pratyekabuddha path....
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA

muni
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by muni » Mon Jul 30, 2018 9:20 am

Yes perpetrator, as every being, is victim of own confused mind, when 'fallen in its distractive hands'. But I can write that very smoothly while being under the control of this confused mind as well. :toilet: Without accept, respect-compassion, love...

The example is been given of tea, I can have many tea bags for myself and all who is thirsty. But without water, there is no way to free of thirst. The water is symbol for love-respect-compassion.

Few quotes by which this can shine or not:

"We can approach the importance of compassion through intelligent reasoning. If I help another person and show concerns for him or her, then I myself will benefit from that. However, if I harm others, eventually I will be in trouble. I often joke, half sincerely and half seriously, saying that we should be truly selfish, then we should be wisely selfish.

To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people and in ways that will produce friction and unrest in their lives, we should practice a purer perception of them and when we speak of others, speak of their good qualities.

If you assume a humble attitude, your own good qualities will increase, whereas when you are full of pride there is no way to be happy. You will become jealous of others, angry with them, and look down on them, due to which an unpleasant atmosphere will be created and unhappiness in society will increase.

We are visitors on this planet. We are here for ninety or one hundred years at the very most. During that period, we must try to do something good, something useful, with our lives. If you contribute to other peoples' happiness, you will find the true goal, the true meaning of life." H H Dalai Lama.
“ Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek. ”
H H Dalai Lama

"Relax." nirvana-samsara do not stray from spaciousness.

muni
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by muni » Mon Jul 30, 2018 9:54 am

All these eye heart openings, are putting a lamp on inside, by each "re"action, is it truly for the benefit of all without exclusion or is the "re"action by hands of own grasping, and so irritations, frustrations? Can be subtle, I guess.

Check check check, for wise selfishness. I am checking this, but become crazy of the checking.

Perhaps relax and by *compassion-love*, it rolls more smoothly.
“ Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek. ”
H H Dalai Lama

"Relax." nirvana-samsara do not stray from spaciousness.

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tomschwarz
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by tomschwarz » Tue Jul 31, 2018 10:44 pm

muni wrote:
Mon Jul 30, 2018 9:54 am
All these eye heart openings, are putting a lamp on inside, by each "re"action, is it truly for the benefit of all without exclusion or is the "re"action by hands of own grasping, and so irritations, frustrations? Can be subtle, I guess.

Check check check, for wise selfishness. I am checking this, but become crazy of the checking.

Perhaps relax and by *compassion-love*, it rolls more smoothly.

Ok friends lets take it up a noch... when we are no longer attached to a calm mental state... something like that (book on loan but this is in ref to the third realm where 1 is desire 2 is form and 3 is formless) formless realm is characterised by not being attached to a calm mental state, "the four noble truths", 1996 his holiness the dalai lama

But all that tech talk aside, about the real Buddhism, the fine points, in this here experience and so on... is it not true that it can be helpful to consider fostering two minds? One is at peace because it sees emptiness, that is the nature of all, its logic, illogic, suffering, destruction, compassion, the beings on the path to hell, to heaven, good forces, evil ones, etc... no stress no non stress just accept, respect, love, leading to very much gone.

Then the other mind is skillfull means. You suffer, i suffer with you. Or less grandiose, i get very sick, this second mind suffers. It is scarry, let's say the sickness is an inner ear infection and i loose balance and am nauseous. So this second mind wants to change something! It wants to feel good again! Or lets say that i am not sick, but you are! It wants you to feel good again!

So my pont, when contemplating the question "accept everything or change something(?)", the statement from his holiness the dalai lama about the formless realm being characterised by the lack of attachment to equinimity, makes you think ))), how does that work? You feel at peace but you are ok with feeling not at peace. You are ok with being sick (peace), but you also accept the second part of you mind (not at peace) whose peace is disturbed by attack of sound of war of interplanetary solar flares by childrens deseases by all of that /these painful things....

Two minds? Better approach to formless realm?
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA

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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by muni » Wed Aug 01, 2018 1:13 pm

What you seem to say sounds like take care for formless realm, since than you remain conditioned. There is no escape from being conditioned then and so suffering is not finished. Like the sky wanting to remain at peace, not accepting or avoiding the dark clouds or the thunder, and therefore withdrawing in itself. That is attractive.
It makes unconditional love not possible and when something disturbs, there is no acceptance. I see this is attachment to peaceful state, not all-embracing interpenetrating nature like all is. Please correct me here.

But "two minds", can you explain?
“ Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek. ”
H H Dalai Lama

"Relax." nirvana-samsara do not stray from spaciousness.

muni
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by muni » Wed Aug 01, 2018 2:34 pm

Formless: neutral, all-pervasive suffering of conditioning? But I do not want to go technical.
formless realm is characterised by not being attached to a calm mental state
Calm mental, state of acceptance?
Since:
the statement from his holiness the dalai lama about the formless realm being characterised by the lack of attachment to equinimity, makes you think ))), how does that work? You feel at peace but you are ok with feeling not at peace. You are ok with being sick (peace), but you also accept the second part of you mind (not at peace) whose peace is disturbed by attack of sound of war of interplanetary solar flares by childrens deseases by all of that /these painful things...
“ Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek. ”
H H Dalai Lama

"Relax." nirvana-samsara do not stray from spaciousness.

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tomschwarz
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by tomschwarz » Thu Aug 02, 2018 10:09 pm

muni wrote:
Wed Aug 01, 2018 1:13 pm
Like the sky wanting to remain at peace, not accepting or avoiding the dark clouds or the thunder, and therefore withdrawing in itself. That is attractive.
It makes unconditional love not possible and when something disturbs, there is no acceptance. I see this is attachment to peaceful state, not all-embracing interpenetrating nature like all is. Please correct me here.
Wonderful
muni wrote:
Wed Aug 01, 2018 1:13 pm
.

But "two minds", can you explain?
So the reality of reality has both the two truths and their unity or convergence. There are lots of examples of this. But to try to get human, there is my skull. It pretty much does not move. But then there is my smile, or frown, all that stuff i do, at best, in some effort at skillfull means, to give others what they need, at best, on their terms, to achieve stable positive mental state.

So enter formless realm. Attaining equinimity and not being attached to it coukd mean two minds, one has equinimity but is not attached to it because the other mind is going to feel conflict and must to care for and rake on the suffering of others. Let skull be inner world of mind. Let flesh be interactions with other beings as a whole. So the skull mind is really at peace throughout the day. Then the flesh mind can feel and take on imbalance, conflicted mental states, dark swirling asphalt, etc...

If not two minds, it does feel like at least two layers. How does it feel to you to have equinimity and not be attached to it? What is an example of that in your life? In my life it if very much like skull and flesh. Skull meditates throughout the day, right now. And flesh layer does its best (at best) to communicate in a caring, less egocentric way, and also has some playful characteristics.... maybe i should unify my mind? Let others mess up my inner peace world? No world for me?
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA

muni
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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by muni » Fri Aug 03, 2018 8:29 am

tomschwarz wrote:
Thu Aug 02, 2018 10:09 pm

So the reality of reality has both the two truths and their unity or convergence. There are lots of examples of this. But to try to get human, there is my skull. It pretty much does not move. But then there is my smile, or frown, all that stuff i do, at best, in some effort at skillfull means, to give others what they need, at best, on their terms, to achieve stable positive mental state.

So enter formless realm. Attaining equinimity and not being attached to it coukd mean two minds, one has equinimity but is not attached to it because the other mind is going to feel conflict and must to care for and rake on the suffering of others. Let skull be inner world of mind. Let flesh be interactions with other beings as a whole. So the skull mind is really at peace throughout the day. Then the flesh mind can feel and take on imbalance, conflicted mental states, dark swirling asphalt, etc...

If not two minds, it does feel like at least two layers. How does it feel to you to have equinimity and not be attached to it? What is an example of that in your life? In my life it if very much like skull and flesh. Skull meditates throughout the day, right now. And flesh layer does its best (at best) to communicate in a caring, less egocentric way, and also has some playful characteristics.... maybe i should unify my mind? Let others mess up my inner peace world? No world for me?
"at best, in some effort at skillfull means, to give others what they need, at best, on their terms, to achieve stable positive mental state."

Your example to apply sounds great as a basis to go through daily life. In order to communicate everywhere with everyone, to help bring stable positive state is not so easy. Because what is useful for me, can bring a fellow out of harmony and can even harm; lose confidence, make upset or so.
It can be very helpful to understand fellows, from where they see, in order to better understand them. About that I got yesterday some talk. Simple being blind kind is not a help, like if I have a rotten teeth, you will not give me chocolat, (what I perhaps love so much), you will bring me to the dentist.

One thing perhaps what at least can be, is by seeing own intention of speak, action, like a mom doing her best for her children, no thought on herself, no aim to feel herself satisfied, just the care for her children is the only present care ( flesh). This looks like "better selfishness". Since mom has then also happy. But somehow for that mom must take care as well of mind ( skull) because turning upset, will make this not so possible.
Last edited by muni on Fri Aug 03, 2018 8:32 am, edited 2 times in total.
“ Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek. ”
H H Dalai Lama

"Relax." nirvana-samsara do not stray from spaciousness.

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Re: Accept, respect, love, gone

Post by tomschwarz » Fri Aug 03, 2018 8:30 am

%&/($ my world! )))) ahhh..... better.
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA

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Re: Accept everything or change something?

Post by tomschwarz » Fri Aug 03, 2018 9:33 am

ok, so to recap so far... ...as basis
Kim O'Hara wrote:
Mon May 14, 2018 8:27 am
(...) "accept everything as is" is not the same as to "accept that everything is as it is" and I think the second is more appropriate/skillful than the first.
check. then comes changing stuff (respect, love):
muni wrote: "Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche:
“Padmasambhava said: ‘Though the view should be as vast as the sky, keep your conduct as fine as barley flour.’ Don’t confuse one with the other. When training in the view, you can be as unbiased, as impartial, as vast, immense, and unlimited as the sky. Your behaviour, on the other hand, should be as careful as possible in discriminating what is beneficial or harmful, what is good or evil. One can combine the view and conduct, but don’t mix them or lose one in the other. That is very important.
(...)
to help bring stable positive state is not so easy. Because what is useful for me, can bring a fellow out of harmony and can even harm; lose confidence, make upset or so. It can be very helpful to understand fellows, from where they see, in order to better understand them.
(...)
like a mom doing her best for her children, no thought on herself, no aim to feel herself satisfied, just the care for her children is the only present care ( flesh). This looks like "better selfishness". Since mom has then also happy. But somehow for that mom must take care as well of mind ( skull) because turning upset, will make this not so possible.
kausalya wrote: accepting everything received from others as manifestations of their suffering/wish to be free, but changing your own mind and behavior so that this acceptance doesn't cause you yourself to suffer & you can be of genuine help?
(...)
The four forms of generosity are Dharma (or truthful/appropriate advice), material goods, love, and fearlessness.

Love is best described as the heartfelt desire for others to be happy, and a commitment to act in ways that don't harm them, but support them to find temporal/ultimate happiness originating from within themselves.

(...)

Cultivate joy at your ability to serve others, and that's all there is to it -- in this sense, it's not about us, but about all other beings.

then gone:
weitsicht wrote: My personal response is (and it not necessarily needs be yours): no outside, no inside and nothing in between.
You become everyone and everyone becomes you on a nondualist level.
So the gone part is wrong, apart of course that the perception shifts.
kausalya wrote: If you have a yidam, generate yourself and all phenomena as the deity and give rise to the most virtuous mind you can, free of self-cherishing, embodied in rainbow light; when this is fresh in your mind, allow yourself to feel as though, since you've received whatever dharma teachings are important to your life, you can & must practice them starting now (& for the rest of your life). You won't gain anything that helps you fix it in the future, and if you want to have the means to fix it, you will create the conditions for that to manifest by purifying your intention and using that wisdom mind to approach your problems.
muni wrote: It is the thinker, the knower what "comes after". So called primordial goodness is "before" this dream-mind of me 'starts' its own life on its own. And this mind will never accept or respect or love because it lives in its own karmic coloured world. There are as many worlds as there are dream-minds.
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA

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