You have given answer how to see through daily life, how to put Dharma into daily life, which is not always so easy as Dharma in words. Practice helps, even this is not actually remarked directly, still like the sky it is becoming clearer. This so for all of us.kausalya wrote: ↑Sun Jul 22, 2018 4:06 am
Hmmm... good points...
I have to reiterate, it is best if children do receive love, because this will reduce their obstacles in later life, and because children may be especially liable to suffering from not being able to make sense of why they're going through something, why their parent doesn't love them, etc. When we grow into adults, though, or even teenagers (really, as soon as possible), it's desirable to work through these things by developing a way to come to peace with them, at least through the use of our reasoning abilities, at first.
I suspect HHDL is correct in that this experience is generally an obstacle, but it's also an "obstacle blessing," and it can be one of the reasons why someone decides to pursue the dharma...
We have to suffer a certain amount before we decide to look for a better way to conduct our lives. That's why a human rebirth is considered optimal: there's a chance of obtaining enough comfort that we can devote ourselves to practice, but the suffering we experience is enough to actually motivate us to practice.
Practices like tonglen are hard for everyone to do, not just for people who lacked loving childhoods. Still, we all have to start somewhere, and I would encourage anyone to just start, regardless of how good they are. Any effort counts.
Other teachings show us how to protect ourselves from "stupid compassion," where people have an opportunity to take advantage of us before we're skillful enough to stop the harm.
Those who are proud of the suffering they cause simply have to suffer more before they get sick of it. No one can convince them better than their own experience with the misery of samsara. Compassion will arise for everyone at some point... it's simply a matter of time. It's not our job to convince them if they aren't ready, but we can show compassion toward them ourselves if we are ready. I'm not suggesting that people should attempt to open themselves all at once, but rather that we should try our best and do what we can according to our circumstances.
The best thing we can do is to be an example to others who may not practice dharma, who do various things to hurt us or bother us, etc... this doesn't mean we have to remain close to them so that these unwelcome things can continue, but we should appreciate them for offering themselves as the object of our practice, because they teach us better than anyone about the state of our mind.
When brothers - sisters are trying to hurt each other, the hurted one can use this for patience. Because without such there is no need to practice patience, there is no opportunity to see own grasping either when all are loving us and all is fine. Then samsara isn't so bad and I sit here fine, so happily smiling in my nice samsara.
Now H H Dalai Lama said we sometimes must use countermeasures to avoid further damage or further suffering by harmful karma.
When a child is in a awful nightmare screaming of fear, usually a mother or father remains not quiet on their cushion but try to awaken the child, telling don't be afraid darling, it is just a dream.
But it is not so easy. There would be no politics, no wars, no any conflicts, if it were so easy and no Dharma would be necessary.
This falls under what you said about the skills to stop the suffering harm, which I see not possible by experience of me. Saying others who harm are great teachers is wonderful but not the whole picture in interactions, there must be responsible care. Just as a master cares for his-her student to avoid lower realms -experience.
All are Buddha Nature, even drugs dealers and so are victim of their own confusion. There are by harm only victims H H said, even the perpetrator is a victim and need right care, right compassion. Alas it can be very hard to "think" so, looking to the terrorist killing a mass of people. And still it is, victim of delusion.