End of suffering

General discussion, particularly exploring the Dharma in the modern world.
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kirtu
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Re: End of suffering

Post by kirtu » Tue Aug 28, 2018 2:52 am

shanyin wrote:
Tue Aug 28, 2018 2:29 am
I need to have a better understand of the Dharma and Buddhism. I think that making an effort to keep the 5 precepts would be a good start. I have negative habits like pornography and smoking ciggarettes and drinking alchohol.
Good. You said that you wanted to attain nirvana. That means the ending of all negative states of mind. It does not mean that nothing negative will happen to you after that though but it does mean that you will be able to experience it without turning it into a negative experience.

The problem is that that is impossible for almost everyone.

But you can achieve something like nirvana in your daily life. But in order to do that you have to create a very strong mind and be completely aware each moment of your life. After all, we have nothing but this exact moment. And as a result we can choose in this moment to do positive things and not do negative things. All negative things create suffering. All of them. But a great teacher named Buddhadasa pointed out that most people decide that they want the negative stuff instead (like porn, smoking, and drinking).

If you want to take the precepts to help you stay away from un-Buddha activity, and all un-Buddha activity creates suffering sooner or later, then I would suggest that at least once at day you that refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha and then explicitly vow to follow the training of the five precepts. Refuge means that you are following the Buddha, his teachings and the people on the path with you (really it means the enlightened people on the path with you) to get out of samsara.
I take refuge in the Buddha
I take refuge in the Sangha
I take refuge in the Dharma
traditionally you recite that 3x's

and then take the precepts:
]
From now until this time tomorrow I will not kill any being
From now until this time tomorrow I will not steal anything
From now until this time tomorrow I will not misuse sex
From now until this time tomorrow I will not say harmful things
From now until this time tomorrow I will not use drugs (or substances that cloud the mind)
I would repeat this 3x's too

Taditionally you do these practice in front of a Buddha image. If you want to do that you can just image the Buddha in front of you.

Practicing the precepts is challenging. You have to decide that you want to do that (but you said you did). Given what you have said you may need to decide for yourself what the spirit of the precepts are. Four example, you indicated that you had broken things in your house/apartment. I personally would include the vow to not hit anyone or break anything in the vows but it's up to you.

Then you asked about a Buddha meditation or remembrance practice. There are many.

May you be well, happy and peaceful.

Kirt
Kirt's Tibetan Translation Notes

"Even if you practice only for an hour a day with faith and inspiration, good qualities will steadily increase. Regular practice makes it easy to transform your mind. From seeing only relative truth, you will eventually reach a profound certainty in the meaning of absolute truth."
Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche.

"Only you can make your mind beautiful."
HH Chetsang Rinpoche

shanyin
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Re: End of suffering

Post by shanyin » Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:04 am

I'm sorry, but my problems are not superficial. I do not understand my family who are the only people in my life. I am encouraged to take life threatening toxic brain disabling drugs and locked up where, humiliated by being put in a seclusion, harassed by patients and staff and have my rights taken away by rights advisors and psychiatrists. The councellors I try to use do not try to help me at all. I literally punch myself in the face every couple days and destroy property in my apartment. I have no friends I smoke 2 - 3 packs a day. I am sick of my family who insult me and were abusive when I was younger. I am extremely poor and rely on them for groceries. That is all I want them in my life for because I do not like the way they talk.

I am suffering ALOT. I feel homesick from being in this city. I do cocaine and drink and smoke weed and my mind is not free. I am insulted by these people who think I am schziphrenic. My sister stole my money through cheque fraud and she didn't even apologize. I was viciously beaten by 3 police officers and charged with assault of an officer and I do not know what the nature of the charges were and people who can't mind their own business told my dad that I assaulted and officer and he believes it. I attempted suicide and went into work bleeding down my arm and I got fired and nobody did anything. Not even a single mental health proffessional brought it up they just told me to take the medication forever. I cannot get answers. I am addicted to pornography and recently hired a prostitue. When I am locked up in the hospital I am made to wait in a waiting room surrounded by police for hours. I did not change my underwear for 2 months straight. I told my parents to but they did not bring me underwear.

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Emmet
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Re: End of suffering

Post by Emmet » Fri Sep 07, 2018 10:59 am

Shanyin,
I am not a psychiatrist, so I will try to limit my comments to these few observations. It's readily apparent that you're suffering greatly, and that much of your suffering is self-inflicted; you have developed a wide array of behaviors which are all various ways of "punching yourself in the face". I realize that self-harming is a compulsive attempt to relieve the pressure of deep-seated stressors which appear to be overwhelming, but as you have discovered, it's maladaptive; not only is it not working for you, it's making things worse. All of Buddhism is based upon one central essential principle; ahimsa; "non-harming", non-harming of others; non-harming of yourself. A first step to reducing your suffering is to refrain from self-harming (and harming others) in this present moment; as others have suggested, "just for today". This includes torturing yourself with your mind. You may not have the capacity to stop feelings of self hatred and self loathing from arising, or stop the endless loop of hateful negative chatter in your mind, but you can develop the ability to choose not to react to it. The less reactive you become, the less power such mental formations will have over you. As you've discovered, alcohol and illicit drugs do not help with impulse control. However, psychotropic drugs actually can help, despite their negative side effects. Such drugs aren't forever; as you change, the need for medication changes...but you have to change first. If you don't want them to prescribe psychiatric medications to you (or involuntarily commit you), prove to them that you can manage your behavior without them. If you don't want others to treat you like you're crazy, don't be crazy. At this point, the best way that you can demonstrate to everyone that you're not crazy is to engage and actively participate in your counseling & therapy with an open mind, and that includes being compliant with your medications. As you've so thoroughly documented on these pages, your thoughts and behavior are beyond your control. You've also listed numerous people who are trying to help you, They can help you, but only if you surrender and allow them to.

May you be well, free of suffering, and at peace.
May all beings plagued with sufferings of the body or mind be quickly freed of their illnesses.
May the frightened cease to be afraid, and may the bound go free.
May the powerless find power,
And may people think of befriending each other.

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Anders
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Re: End of suffering

Post by Anders » Fri Sep 07, 2018 12:02 pm

I would be wary of taking any specific advice on what to practice online.

In a more general sense, which I believe to be true in Buddhism and generally, if you want to develop certain qualities, one of the best ways to nurture that is to hang out with people who already embody these qualities.

Are there any sanghas in your vicinity you could visit? If so, I'd start there and see what that does for you. Perhaps seeking a different counselor if you feel you are not seeing eye to eye with your current one might also help.

I also wouldn't be too concerned about dropping all your bad habits in one fell swoop. These things take time and a big part of it is developing good habits alongside them, which also takes time. But as you nurture them, they will quite naturally begin to allocate your energy differently when you aren't even looking. Emmet I think has given sound advice on ahimsa above.

I wouldn't worry too much about selfish vs compassion if I were in your shoes. Kind work starts at home and it's only natural, and entirely appropriate, that you focus on your own happiness before you start worrying too much about the happiness of others.
"Even if my body should be burnt to death in the fires of hell
I would endure it for myriad lifetimes
As your companion in practice"

--- Gandavyuha Sutra

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kirtu
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Re: End of suffering

Post by kirtu » Sat Sep 08, 2018 12:26 am

shanyin wrote:
Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:04 am
I'm sorry, but my problems are not superficial.
You definitely have problems.

You said that you wanted to practice the precepts.

Have you begun to to so in some way?

Most of the other issues that you mentioned, you created (but not all). It can be tough but you can tackle this day by day, moment by moment. In fact you can only actually deal with you issues moment by moment.

As for how people around you act and react - it appears that for now you can't really do anything about it. If you can find another job do that. And drop all negative behaviors. If you drop them in your mind (so just refuse to do them) then at least you can see that they don't actually control you (most people think that their desires and impulses actually control them - desires and impulses are just habits).

Kirt
Kirt's Tibetan Translation Notes

"Even if you practice only for an hour a day with faith and inspiration, good qualities will steadily increase. Regular practice makes it easy to transform your mind. From seeing only relative truth, you will eventually reach a profound certainty in the meaning of absolute truth."
Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche.

"Only you can make your mind beautiful."
HH Chetsang Rinpoche

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Fa Dao
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Re: End of suffering

Post by Fa Dao » Tue Sep 11, 2018 1:24 pm

Little brother,
sounds like you might be spending way too much time in your own head and amplifying all the shit that is going on in there... and in turn you are reaching out to these negative things to try and shut out some of it...totally understandable. Perhaps you could try to replace some of those things that are helping to harm you further with things that would be good for you? For example: instead of doing a video game session with lots of smoking/drinking etc go for a walk or a run or basically anything that will engage your mind and body in a positive way...or find a worthy cause and donate some of your time to that...or hell, basically anything that gets you out of your head and replaces negative habits with positive ones. Perhaps making the attempt at this will cause others (your family, Doctors etc) to start viewing you differently and consequently you will hopefully spend less time in the hospitals and with the police etc. When you start to change things around like this meditation will come much more easily and naturally. This is obviously not an easy road you are on but ultimately you are the only one who can change it...you have the power to do that at all times...you always have the ability to choose how you react to anything that comes along in your life....when you truly decide that you are no longer going to be a slave to your thoughts and emotions that is the day your life will begin to turn around...you can do this little brother!
"But if you know how to observe yourself, you will discover your real nature, the primordial state, the state of Guruyoga, and then all will become clear because you will have discovered everything"-Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche

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Wayfarer
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Re: End of suffering

Post by Wayfarer » Tue Oct 02, 2018 1:04 pm

Dharmawheel Forum is not an appropriate medium for dealing with problems of the kind being discussed here. Accordingly this thread is being locked.
Only practice with no gaining idea ~ Suzuki Roshi

Simon E.
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Re: End of suffering

Post by Simon E. » Tue Oct 02, 2018 1:22 pm

Good.
Back to fishin' folks... :namaste:

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