How does the Buddha eat?

General discussion, particularly exploring the Dharma in the modern world.
Malcolm
Posts: 42974
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:19 am

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Malcolm »

Queequeg wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:51 pm
You clearly do not have children.
No, but I do have the benefit of more than three full decades of observing many adult Buddhists and their growing children, and most children of most American Buddhists do not themselves become Buddhists, whether they are encouraged to or not. In fact, what I observe is that the children of those parents who let them just find Buddhism for themselves are the children who stick. The others go the "weird parent" route.
Sentient Light
Posts: 374
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2016 8:40 pm
Location: San Francisco, California

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Sentient Light »

Just anecdotally here. My mother took us to the Buddhist temple for a little bit when we were young, but stopped eventually. My father was a very devout man, and we always had an altar set up. He did his morning and evening prostrations quietly, by himself, and never really bothered to share the dharma with us. Of his six children, three are devout lay Buddhists, one is a fully ordained nun, and two are... basically westernized secularists. I would tend to agree with Malcolm here. At least in my situation, I had a fascination with Buddhism very early on, and demanded knowledge of it. My other American siblings couldn't care less. The other three siblings live and grew up in Vietnam, so it's a very different context. In general, I think the American lifestyle is somewhat unpredictable, and those who are raised Buddhist tend to not affiliate with it in adulthood beyond ceremony.

(I think it is interesting to note that the three famous examples I can think of regarding *white* American Buddhists raised under Buddhism are non-practicing, so it seems at least in this sample to hold up even outside of American cultures that are in diaspora: Kate Hudson, raised by Goldie Hawn; Uma Thurman, raised by Robert Thurman; Trey Parker, who says his father "tried to" raise him Buddhist)

That said, I don't really see the problem with parents practicing religion around their kids, and teaching religion to their kids, provided that it's understood there are different views in the world.
:buddha1: Nam mô A di đà Phật :buddha1:
:bow: Nam mô Quan Thế Âm Bồ tát :bow:
:bow: Nam mô Đại Thế Chi Bồ Tát :bow:

:buddha1: Nam mô Bổn sư Thích ca mâu ni Phật :buddha1:
:bow: Nam mô Di lặc Bồ tát :bow:
:bow: Nam mô Địa tạng vương Bồ tát :bow:
Bristollad
Posts: 1124
Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:39 am

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Bristollad »

Queequeg wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 10:33 pm Did you take the attitude toward your daughter that you profess about Dharma when it came to learning to read and write, math, manners? "Meh, if she wants to read, she will learn to read." I guess some of us are geniuses and take to learning effortlessly. Others of us do it the old fashioned way - trudge through it, often with parents and teachers pushing us along. Hopefully we eventually become literate and literacy becomes an effortless part of who we are. Its trite to mention it, but reading opens mundane doors (most employment requires at least minimal literacy) and amazing doors for us, doesn't it? What would we be if we were not taught to read?
Never had to make her practise reading - we had a house full of books and she always enjoyed them. Maths she didn’t enjoy much but she perservered because she wanted to. Music is her passion but we let her choose which instrument. She started on piano (because she had access to one) and quickly switched to guitar, then electric bass guitar. We didn’t try to guide that interest, simply supported it. She left school, decided not to go to University because she couldn’t find a course she wanted to do, then started teaching music in the local schools. After three years she decided to pack that in because music was becoming a chore rather than a pleasure. Now she works in the MacLaren F1 racing team’s personnel department.
My daughter was never interested in sitting, chanting or joining Dad in his other weird stuff, and I’m fine with that. If she wants to start and asks me, I’ll support her interest as best I can. But I think she’s much more likely to stay interested if it’s from her own side - just as music was.

As for Calvinist vs Mormon attitudes - not having experience of either, your point is lost in translation :rolling:
The antidote—to be free from the suffering of samsara—you need to be free from delusion and karma; you need to be free from ignorance, the root of samsara. So you need to meditate on emptiness. That is what you need. Lama Zopa Rinpoche
User avatar
Queequeg
Former staff member
Posts: 14463
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:24 pm

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Queequeg »

Sentient Light wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:59 pm Just anecdotally here. My mother took us to the Buddhist temple for a little bit when we were young, but stopped eventually. My father was a very devout man, and we always had an altar set up. He did his morning and evening prostrations quietly, by himself, and never really bothered to share the dharma with us. Of his six children, three are devout lay Buddhists, one is a fully ordained nun, and two are... basically westernized secularists. I would tend to agree with Malcolm here. At least in my situation, I had a fascination with Buddhism very early on, and demanded knowledge of it. My other American siblings couldn't care less. The other three siblings live and grew up in Vietnam, so it's a very different context. In general, I think the American lifestyle is somewhat unpredictable, and those who are raised Buddhist tend to not affiliate with it in adulthood beyond ceremony.

(I think it is interesting to note that the three famous examples I can think of regarding *white* American Buddhists raised under Buddhism are non-practicing, so it seems at least in this sample to hold up even outside of American cultures that are in diaspora: Kate Hudson, raised by Goldie Hawn; Uma Thurman, raised by Robert Thurman; Trey Parker, who says his father "tried to" raise him Buddhist)

That said, I don't really see the problem with parents practicing religion around their kids, and teaching religion to their kids, provided that it's understood there are different views in the world.
Curious... So three raised in Vietnam are Buddhist, and you. Two others indifferent. What's the birth order, particularly you and the two who didn't take to it?
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
User avatar
Queequeg
Former staff member
Posts: 14463
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:24 pm

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Queequeg »

Bristollad wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:28 am Never had to make her practise reading - we had a house full of books and she always enjoyed them. Maths she didn’t enjoy much but she perservered because she wanted to. Music is her passion but we let her choose which instrument. She started on piano (because she had access to one) and quickly switched to guitar, then electric bass guitar. We didn’t try to guide that interest, simply supported it. She left school, decided not to go to University because she couldn’t find a course she wanted to do, then started teaching music in the local schools. After three years she decided to pack that in because music was becoming a chore rather than a pleasure. Now she works in the MacLaren F1 racing team’s personnel department.
My daughter was never interested in sitting, chanting or joining Dad in his other weird stuff, and I’m fine with that. If she wants to start and asks me, I’ll support her interest as best I can. But I think she’s much more likely to stay interested if it’s from her own side - just as music was.
So, she rolled with what was around the house... I suspect you've glossed things and understated the role of you and the rest of the people in her life. In any event.... We pick up on what's around... That's my point.
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
User avatar
PadmaVonSamba
Posts: 9448
Joined: Sat May 14, 2011 1:41 am

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by PadmaVonSamba »

A few years ago, some guys doing repair work on our house noticed the 'shrine' I keep.
He said:
"You a buddhist? I know a Vietnamese guy... he's a buddhist. He feeds his buddha a plate of food every day.
What do you feed your Buddha?"

"What Do You Feed Your Buddha?"

... one of the most profound teachings I have ever heard. I use it as a koan.
Everybody should ask themselves this!!!
.
.
.
Last edited by PadmaVonSamba on Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
EMPTIFUL.
An inward outlook produces outward insight.
User avatar
Queequeg
Former staff member
Posts: 14463
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:24 pm

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Queequeg »

Malcolm wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:39 pm
Queequeg wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:51 pm
You clearly do not have children.
No, but I do have the benefit of more than three full decades of observing many adult Buddhists and their growing children, and most children of most American Buddhists do not themselves become Buddhists, whether they are encouraged to or not. In fact, what I observe is that the children of those parents who let them just find Buddhism for themselves are the children who stick. The others go the "weird parent" route.
How about ethnic Tibetans?
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
User avatar
PadmaVonSamba
Posts: 9448
Joined: Sat May 14, 2011 1:41 am

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by PadmaVonSamba »

Queequeg wrote: Sun Jan 06, 2019 4:13 pm Any suggestions on how to answer that question?
The offerings to the Buddha are symbolic, and they are a means of practicing one of the six paramitas, generosity.
I might try to keep it on a symbolic level. Little kids, as literal as they tend to be, have an amazing grasp of abstract symbolism.

You might remind the child that inside, they are also Buddha,
and then ask them where does all the food they eat come from, and where does it go?
...basically, use it as an opportunity to talk about how all things are interconnected,
or the importance of giving,
or maybe just say, Every day, Buddha is invited as a guest in the house, so we offer refreshments,
as we should whenever we have a guest (whether he eats the food or not).

(I'm also a dad).
.
.
.
EMPTIFUL.
An inward outlook produces outward insight.
Malcolm
Posts: 42974
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:19 am

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Malcolm »

Queequeg wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:30 am
Malcolm wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:39 pm
Queequeg wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:51 pm
You clearly do not have children.
No, but I do have the benefit of more than three full decades of observing many adult Buddhists and their growing children, and most children of most American Buddhists do not themselves become Buddhists, whether they are encouraged to or not. In fact, what I observe is that the children of those parents who let them just find Buddhism for themselves are the children who stick. The others go the "weird parent" route.
How about ethnic Tibetans?
They have the usual first-gen ambivalence towards the faith of their parents.
User avatar
Johnny Dangerous
Global Moderator
Posts: 17092
Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2012 10:58 pm
Location: Olympia WA
Contact:

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Johnny Dangerous »

makewhisper wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 8:38 pm
Johnny Dangerous wrote: Sun Jan 06, 2019 7:09 pm The Buddha doesn't need food nor offerings, offerings are mainly for the offerer. That's how I explain it to my kids, in simpler terms. Like how you would give your friend a gift, and the giving would bring you closer to them, even if they didn't really need the gift.
On the path of Mahayana, the offering is for neither the ariya nor the disciple, but always and forever for any being with Dharma needs (all beings) without exception. :group:
I'm just going by what some of my teachers have taught me, about offerings being a practice of generosity, and I didn't request a lecture, thanks.

Malcolm wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:39 pm
Queequeg wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:51 pm
You clearly do not have children.
No, but I do have the benefit of more than three full decades of observing many adult Buddhists and their growing children, and most children of most American Buddhists do not themselves become Buddhists, whether they are encouraged to or not. In fact, what I observe is that the children of those parents who let them just find Buddhism for themselves are the children who stick. The others go the "weird parent" route.
I think this is a good point, the benefit of kids growing up around Dharma is also not necessarily that they become Buddhist at all, and I am not sure that is a good or reasonable expectation for Buddhist practitioners in western cultures to have for their children. Our culture is one that reacts reflexively to indoctrination - even of a positive sort. My attitude has been to have it available, but there is no pressure to participate in anything, and I think focusing on my own practice is probably in the long run more beneficial for my children than trying to have some sort of "program" for them. I also think that children being around Buddha rupas and images, etc. is an enormous blessing, even if it's not one we see directly.
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when afflicted by disease

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared

-Khunu Lama
User avatar
Johnny Dangerous
Global Moderator
Posts: 17092
Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2012 10:58 pm
Location: Olympia WA
Contact:

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Johnny Dangerous »

Queequeg wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:30 am
Malcolm wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:39 pm
Queequeg wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:51 pm
You clearly do not have children.
No, but I do have the benefit of more than three full decades of observing many adult Buddhists and their growing children, and most children of most American Buddhists do not themselves become Buddhists, whether they are encouraged to or not. In fact, what I observe is that the children of those parents who let them just find Buddhism for themselves are the children who stick. The others go the "weird parent" route.
How about ethnic Tibetans?
Some of them send their kids off to India to learn Dharma. It remains to be seen how this will work, I don't know if Tibetan kids in America will really take to "Buddhist boarding school"...I know I probably wouldn't, lol.

My understanding and limited observation is as Malcolm said - the first generation raised here has been fairly resistant to learning Tibetan culture and Dharma and has assimilated alot , the generation of younger kids is getting the full-on immersion treatment in some ways (maybe because of the resistance of the previous generation that Malcolm mentioned), and it looks to me like Tibetan parents in America are really invested these days in preserving their language, culture, and formally having their children formally be trained in Buddhism. I guess we will know the results down the line.
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when afflicted by disease

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared

-Khunu Lama
User avatar
DewachenVagabond
Posts: 464
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 7:30 pm
Location: Dewachen

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by DewachenVagabond »

Queequeg wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 10:33 pm
Bristollad wrote: Mon Jan 07, 2019 8:37 pm Actually, I agree with Malcolm (and I do have a child, well grown-up daughter now). She has shown little interest and I haven't forced it - but she has met Geshe Tashi and liked him enough to return to visit Jamyang Centre in London on her own. It's down to her, her karma, I can't force it any more than I can force her to make me a grandfather; and if I suggested that I would be rightfully sent packing! :rolling:
I don't think you agree with Malcolm. He didn't mention anything about forcing, and neither did I for that matter. Malcolm and I disagree on where the line to causing dharma to be heard is drawn. He's kind of a Calvinist. I'm probably more like a Mormon. I don't think you disagree with me, and rather you agree with me. I don't disagree with you.

To be clear - I don't force anything. If my children don't want to make offerings, then... :shrug: and I am well aware that I am at peak influence in their lives now and its a matter of time before they start walking 20 paces from me and acting like I'm a stranger (But oh, I am scheming embarrassing episodes and can't wait to spring them!)

I think there is a deeper issue here. Where is that line between preparing our children for life and trying to make them extensions of ourselves. Often that line is hard to identify but like all things, I think its a matter of intent.

When we have children and raise them, we introduce them to this world. The things we introduce are intentional and more often unintentional. Ideally, we give them the tools they will need to navigate the world. Unfortunately, and I'm seeing this in my son already, we give them baggage, too. In any event, the first thing we teach them is language - they pick it up naturally from us. They also pick up habits. They pick up views and attitudes. In a way, everything they get from us is language - the words and syntax, ideas and narratives they will use to understand themselves and the world around them. It seems to follow we ought to at least try to give them the best, widest, most expressive vocabulary possible.

Did you take the attitude toward your daughter that you profess about Dharma when it came to learning to read and write, math, manners? "Meh, if she wants to read, she will learn to read." I guess some of us are geniuses and take to learning effortlessly. Others of us do it the old fashioned way - trudge through it, often with parents and teachers pushing us along. Hopefully we eventually become literate and literacy becomes an effortless part of who we are. Its trite to mention it, but reading opens mundane doors (most employment requires at least minimal literacy) and amazing doors for us, doesn't it? What would we be if we were not taught to read?

Dharma, at least in my view, is as real as gravity. Being able to read it is like learning a language. Teaching my children about dharma is merely about giving them the language for it, the experience of it. There is no way to impart this without doing it. This is actually the basis of Buddhism. They may very well never pick it up, become irredeemable materialists, but at least they'll have the language for Dharma if and when they need it. Whether they use it... :shrug:

Did you raise your daughter immersed in Buddhism?

I understand there might be disagreement in my approach, but I'd have to be a different person to NOT build a shrine, to NOT build stupas with them, to NOT wake early each morning to perform gongyo, study, meditate. I'd have to be a different person to NOT share these parts of myself with my son and daughter, to NOT impart, passively, sometimes actively, the vocabulary and ideas by which Dharma is spoken of, approached, lived. If I lived in a society permeated by the practice of Dharma, would these things I do with my children seem extraordinary at all? Its only because I live in the West and these modes of thought and activity are exotic that its even a question.

Its not different than imparting values, knowledge, and habits like respecting people, saying please and thank you, working and studying hard, explaining how an internal combustion engine powers a car, etc. In sum, to me, there is a Buddhist culture, more or less. Its not the common language, but its the language spoken in our home. I'd like my children to be bilingual, even if they never speak it. Beyond that, I have no doubt that even a little dharma will benefit them. It behooves me to share it. But that's it. No expectation beyond that. There's a part of me who wants them out of the house so I can go back to my more intensive practice.

Anyways, pardon the mind dump. LOL
As a former Mormon, I'm curious about what you consider this Mormon approach to be in comparison with the Calvinist approach. The Mormon approach to raising children immersed in religion is probably much more intense than what you're talking about, although I'm having a difficult time telling for sure.

Do you start with the assumption "my children are going to be Buddhist?" Would you be okay with them growing up to be something different? The Mormon approach is very much "do as I say, there is no other option." Although this isn't always the case, this tends to be true to Mormon (especially Utah Mormon) culture as a whole. Mormon families usually expect their kids to grow up to be adult Mormons. The Mormon life is marked by milestones, and each one is expected kind of as a coming of age. So as a young kid, literally from the moment they learn to speak, Mormon boys will learn to say "I'm going to go on a mission; I'm going to get married in the temple." They are also expected to hit other milestones, like being ordained as deacons, teachers, priests and elders at 12, 14, 16 and 18. Mormon boys also generally join cub scouts at 8, then a few years later they join Young Mens and (until recently) the Boy Scouts of America. Girls join Young Womens. These activities are held on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday nights, and they're expected to attend every time. After becoming an Eagle Scout (something that was also expected while I grew up), I once skipped scouts/young mens to play basketball. I came home and my mom was crying. It is taken very, very seriously. Would you cry if your kids didn't meditate one day? Mormons believe that "through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel," so they are also expected to be baptized and confirmed at 8, and initiated and endowed as adults (either before their mission, after reaching 18, or before they are married). These aren't suggestions. It is simply the expectations of Mormon life that you learn from a very young age. The expectation is pretty much identical to the expectation of going to school.

The Mormon approach generally involves congregating the family together every morning and every night to pray and read scriptures. Mormons also have what they call "Family Home Evening," which is generally a lecture about Mormonism (YMMV, more relaxed families might just play a game or watch a movie), pretty similar to Sunday School at church. In addition, there is often a family lecture on Sunday nights as well. On both days, this is combined with the family praying and scripture reading, so the evening scripture reading, praying and lecture might take a couple of hours. There is not a choice about attending or being involved in these activities. It is simply part of being a family (note, I'm not commenting on whether this is good or bad; this is just what Mormon family life is like). So do you spend an hour or two every day reading Buddhist scriptures and praying/chanting/meditating with your kids?

Do you take your kids with you to your sangha every week (or more) and punish them if they don't want to attend? Do you require your kids to develop their own schedule for meditating/praying and reading scriptures daily? Do you expect your kids to pray before every meal and every morning and evening upon waking up and before going to bed? In Mormonism it isn't really a suggestion or encouragement to do these things. It is required like chores. And this is why I'm asking. Some parents are really good at encouraging interest in things. Others try to force interests onto kids. Certain things, like chores and learning to be a hard worker, usually require more than simple encouragement. But forcing kids to take interests in things and learn certain things, even reading, can cause them to drop it later or push back.

I think teaching kids religion is pretty similar to learning an instrument. At least from a "this life" perspective, you don't need to learn any one religion in order to survive or get by, just like you don't need to learn an instrument. However, learning an instrument can be extremely worthwhile, can promote good habits and learning, even in seemingly unrelated things like math (kids who learn to play instruments tend to be a little better at math), and can even become a livelihood if they're really committed. Similarly, if a kid is properly encouraged, Buddhism can take on a huge amount of importance, extending to beyond this life. But children who are forced to learn instruments often drop the instrument the first chance they get. Children who are forced into any religion often drop that religion the first chance they get.

I don't get the impression that you're forcing your children into anything. It sounds more like you're encouraging them in a healthy way and teaching by example. I don't get the impression that you're forcing your children to get up early before school to pray, meditate or chant like a Mormon would, or that you're forcing your kids to offer rice to the Buddha. But they see these things happening around them and they want to learn about it and be a part of it. This is significantly different from the Mormon approach, where these things would be expected like doing chores or homework.

In fact, I think you're already doing more or less what Malcolm said: explaining and encouraging when they show interest. The bottom line is, your kids are going to notice your routine and your practice and take interest in it. That's the time to encourage them, and it sounds like you're doing exactly that.
:bow: :buddha1: :bow: :anjali: :meditate:
Tiago Simões
Posts: 1102
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 8:41 pm
Location: Portugal

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Tiago Simões »

I think Queequeg was referring to the belief in calvinism that salvation is predestined vs whatever the mormons believe. And not the way they raise their kids. (I googled it :tongue: )

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Predestin ... _Calvinism

While I'm not a parent, I do understand how modern young people think. If there's one thing that parents shouldn't do is push religion on kids, that doesn't work and will backfire...
Practicing religion around your kids, without pressuring them into it, is good. At best, your kids will remember their weird parents, with their cute and weird practices, and might get curious later in life.
User avatar
Queequeg
Former staff member
Posts: 14463
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:24 pm

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Queequeg »

SonamTashi wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 10:05 am As a former Mormon, I'm curious about what you consider this Mormon approach to be in comparison with the Calvinist approach.
Tiago Simões wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 12:22 pm I think Queequeg was referring to the belief in calvinism that salvation is predestined vs whatever the mormons believe. And not the way they raise their kids. (I googled it :tongue: )

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Predestin ... _Calvinism
There's some more layers to the joke but that's the gist. :twothumbsup:

Explaining it more would be a tangent I don't want to go right now, and, besides, explaining ruins the joke. Better to let it lie and maybe get a laugh somewhere way down the line.
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
User avatar
seeker242
Posts: 2092
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:50 pm
Location: South Florida, USA

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by seeker242 »

Queequeg wrote: Sun Jan 06, 2019 4:13 pm Any suggestions on how to answer that question?
Pick up some rice and put it in your mouth. :smile:
One should not kill any living being, nor cause it to be killed, nor should one incite any other to kill. Do never injure any being, whether strong or weak, in this entire universe!
Natan
Posts: 3685
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 5:48 pm

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Natan »

I don’t have children either but had siblings with numerous children that I co-parented to some extent. Children are highly impressionable and eager to please their role models. I would suggest being good at practicing dharma and just lead by example. They can’t help but be influenced by this. At the same time, you let them know they are free within boundaries to decide for themselves. This itself is a trick, because there’s almost no such thing. They do what you do, even when they seem like they’re not.
Vajra fangs deliver vajra venom to your Mara body.
User avatar
Queequeg
Former staff member
Posts: 14463
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:24 pm

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Queequeg »

I'm getting the impression there is a consensus on how to present Dharma to our children. I think we're generally in agreement that it should be presented with openness and without expectation or pressure that our children follow closely our own path.

As I explained above, my view on Buddhadharma is that its more or less a language - a system of vocabulary, ideas, narratives, that like other languages, help us to understand ourselves and organize the world around us. In many traditionally Buddhist societies, particularly Southern Buddhist countries, the jatakas feature prominently in the cultures. These stories tell us how we ought to behave - Devadatta bad, Buddha good - and many are presented with these figures appearing as animals dealing with very basic every day problems like sharing and being kind, loyal, reliable. We adorn the world around us with values and meanings, narratives that we carry in our mind. Consciously adorning the world with the symbols of Dharma is just another intentional effort to immanentize what is actually delicate and subtle - an extension of what many of us do with our heavily symbolic formal rituals.

I grew up bilingual in English and Japanese, and I know many others who grew up with parents who speak foreign languages. Its always been interesting to me to see who picked up the extra language and who didn't. The one's who picked it up - their parents, either because of necessity (because they didn't speak English) or intent (they wanted to pass the language on) spoke to their children in the foreign language and it was those kids who ended up bilingual. Parents who just passively presented the language, the children did not pick up the language.

There's a lot of factors that go into passing language and religion and its probably best to conclude there is no one size fits all.
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
Malcolm
Posts: 42974
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:19 am

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Malcolm »

SonamTashi wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 10:05 am

As a former Mormon, I'm curious about what you consider this Mormon approach to be in comparison with the Calvinist approach. The Mormon approach to raising children immersed in religion is probably much more intense than what you're talking about, although I'm having a difficult time telling for sure.
He is referring to an old conversation we had about the value of evangelizing Buddhism (a huge Nichiren concern).

My point of view is that people meet the Dharma or not because they have the causes to meet it or not, and no amount of evangelizing or proselytizing is of any value.

Thus, Q thinks this POV is "Calvinist," i.e. only the elect will be saved. He is more in favor of active evangelizing the Gospel and proselytizing among the heathen, hence "Mormon."

M
User avatar
Queequeg
Former staff member
Posts: 14463
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:24 pm

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Queequeg »

Malcolm wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:43 pm
SonamTashi wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 10:05 am

As a former Mormon, I'm curious about what you consider this Mormon approach to be in comparison with the Calvinist approach. The Mormon approach to raising children immersed in religion is probably much more intense than what you're talking about, although I'm having a difficult time telling for sure.
He is referring to an old conversation we had about the value of evangelizing Buddhism (a huge Nichiren concern).

My point of view is that people meet the Dharma or not because they have the causes to meet it or not, and no amount of evangelizing or proselytizing is of any value.

Thus, Q thinks this POV is "Calvinist," i.e. only the elect will be saved. He is more in favor of active evangelizing the Gospel and proselytizing among the heathen, hence "Mormon."

M
To be clear, my primary view, as my signature suggests, is that the Dharma should be caused to be heard because there are those who are open and receptive. If they don't hear it, they will miss the opportunity presented by this precious life and fall away in samsara, very likely not encountering dharma again for many eons. We believe dharma should be proclaimed openly, without holding anything back, particularly in this age of degeneration - why? Because there is nothing to lose except this opportunity to deepen the connection to Dharma. To put it in sort of mythological terms we might say those who are receptive but were not born into an environment adorned with Dharma have a connection to Dharma from the past, but because they did not advance far enough, the connection is still tentative. By hearing it, it will resonate with imprints and if one is able to take up even a simple practice like remembrance of the Buddha, it will reinforce the connection and possibly become irreversible, even bearing full fruit in this life. Some people need hand holding and encouragement. While there is a time and place for supporting others in their practice at points where they may be wavering, this does not mean that it is acceptable to overcome their will. We do believe that directly confronting wrong view, especially when it is causing harm, can be appropriate depending on circumstances.

If you've ever seen Japanese monks chanting Daimoku in public, this is the practice they are carrying out. The Peace Walks while chanting Daimoku and the construction of Peace Pagodas around the world are also expressions of this practice.
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
Malcolm
Posts: 42974
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:19 am

Re: How does the Buddha eat?

Post by Malcolm »

Queequeg wrote: Tue Jan 08, 2019 5:41 pm ]

To be clear, my primary view, as my signature suggests, is that the Dharma should be caused to be heard because there are those who are open and receptive. If they don't hear it, they will miss the opportunity presented by this precious life and fall away in samsara, very likely not encountering dharma again for many eons.
Precious human birth is qualified by eighteen conditions which are conducive to meeting the Dharma. If even one of these is lacking, one's human birth is not precious.

We believe dharma should be proclaimed openly, without holding anything back, particularly in this age of degeneration - why? Because there is nothing to lose except this opportunity to deepen the connection to Dharma.
The Buddha never taught unless he was asked three times by interested parties. We should follow the Buddha's example.
We do believe that directly confronting wrong view, especially when it is causing harm, can be appropriate depending on circumstances.
Well, everyone thinks the views of others are wrong. They can't all be right.
If you've ever seen Japanese monks chanting Daimoku in public, this is the practice they are carrying out. The Peace Walks while chanting Daimoku and the construction of Peace Pagodas around the world are also expressions of this practice.
Yes, that is true. They don't gain many converts though. Most people think they are weird, bald hippies.
Post Reply

Return to “Dharma in Everyday Life”