The Dilemma of Privilege

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Thundering Cloud
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The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Thundering Cloud »

I am privileged by birth.

I was born as a human, in a wealthy country (the U.S.) and I was born white and male. Apparently those latter two still count for something in this era, even though it's complete bullshit. I also have an IQ well north of 3 sigma above the average. And an upbringing that quite accidentally kindled my interest in the Buddha's dharma.

Holy shit. How did I get here? How do I deserve all of this?

More importantly, what should I do now that I am here?

I have discovered that I have a knack for teaching mathematics; the main issue in my experience is assuaging "math anxiety"; making students feel capable of solving the problems placed before them. They can if they get over thinking that they can't. Perhaps it's what I should be doing?

How do you ensure you are not wasting your life, knowing you likely have gifts to bear for others, but being unsure of what they are?
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Johnny Dangerous »

Thundering Cloud wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 7:06 pm I am privileged by birth.

I was born as a human, in a wealthy country (the U.S.) and I was born white and male. Apparently those latter two still count for something in this era, even though it's complete bullshit. I also have an IQ well north of 3 sigma above the average. And an upbringing that quite accidentally kindled my interest in the Buddha's dharma.

Holy shit. How did I get here? How do I deserve all of this?

More importantly, what should I do now that I am here?

I have discovered that I have a knack for teaching mathematics; the main issue in my experience is assuaging "math anxiety"; making students feel capable of solving the problems placed before them. They can if they get over thinking that they can't. Perhaps it's what I should be doing?

How do you ensure you are not wasting your life, knowing you likely have gifts to bear for others, but being unsure of what they are?

Stop ruminating, jump into things, don't be afraid to pick the wrong thing and start over.
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when afflicted by disease

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared

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stevie
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by stevie »

Thundering Cloud wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 7:06 pm How do you ensure you are not wasting your life, ...
'wasting one's life' is a very strange concept for me.
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Thundering Cloud
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Thundering Cloud »

stevie wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 7:56 pm 'wasting one's life' is a very strange concept for me.
Is it one that doesn't make sense?

I have been at the brink of suicide in the past. The sense of having wasted my life is what stopped me. It is that strong.

I should do something constructive with the talents I have at my disposal right now.
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Thundering Cloud
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

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Johnny Dangerous wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 7:13 pm
Stop ruminating, jump into things, don't be afraid to pick the wrong thing and start over.
You may have hit the nail on the head, but it's easier said than done…
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Grigoris »

Contemplation of the "Four Thoughts that turn one's mind to Dharma".

And then practice, practice, practice...
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde
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Thundering Cloud
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

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Grigoris wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 11:15 pm Contemplation of the "Four Thoughts that turn one's mind to Dharma".

And then practice, practice, practice...
Hey Greg, LTNS. :smile:
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Thundering Cloud
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

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Grigoris wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 11:15 pm Contemplation of the "Four Thoughts that turn one's mind to Dharma".

And then practice, practice, practice...
And yes, you're right.

I haven't fully appreciated my position before. I have always felt a drive to use my abilities to make the world better, even since I was a child, but I've yet to do it. I am not yet able to see how.

If merely being human is so precious and rare… as it clearly is… I am astonished at my own birth here. I was born into a position that is ridiculously privileged even by human standards, though maybe not the ones you'd initially think of. I wasn't born into any money, I come from a working class family. I never learned to value things that cost a lot of money. My mother was an animal lover, and I think that's the best thing she passed on to me. I can often connect with animals even better than with people… but there's more still than this.

Besides an exceedingly high IQ, I enjoy health to an extent that surprises my doctors. I haven't had need for antibiotics in 15+ years. My immune system laughs at the flu, it just bounces right off. I don't catch colds too often either; the average interval is about 7 years currently. I'm exposed, but they bounce off. When I do catch them, they don't last long. I stay fit without needing to exercise, I have naturally normal blood pressure… the list goes on. It's ridiculous. I can't believe I am here.

And I feel, very keenly, that I am not taking proper advantage. Is practice enough?
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Schrödinger’s Yidam »

Grigoris wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 11:15 pm Contemplation of the "Four Thoughts that turn one's mind to Dharma".
Specifically the teaching on “the precious human rebirth”. It addresses this issue directly.
And I feel, very keenly, that I am not taking proper advantage. Is practice enough?
The short answer is yes. However there’s a bit more to it in terms of orientation. Some basic Mahayana will help with that.
1.The problem isn’t ‘ignorance’. The problem is the mind you have right now. (H.H. Karmapa XVII @NYC 2/4/18)
2. I support Mingyur R and HHDL in their positions against lama abuse.
3. Student: Lama, I thought I might die but then I realized that the 3 Jewels would protect me.
Lama: Even If you had died the 3 Jewels would still have protected you. (DW post by Fortyeightvows)
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by KristenM »

Focusing on your own privilege is a distraction. Remember impermenance is one of the key Buddhist teachings. I was just on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. I listened to so many people from way up north saying over and over again how lucky they were to have avoided the latest winter storms and -41 below weather. But guess what, they had to rejoin their fellows back in the frozen tundra and they're there now. So, if you truly want to use your privelege wisely remind yourself and others that it's all impermanent etc.
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Daizan »

It doesn't strike me as particularly privileged to grow up working class and have had a brush with suicide. Many people grow up in a much worse socioeconomic position but live happy meaningful lives nevertheless.

My impression of the situation is that you, Thundering Cloud, have grown up deprived of direction or meaning. This is a rather common phenomenon in our culture, saturated to the bone in rationalization and materialism as we are.

Yours is not a dilemma of privilege but a dilemma of deprivation. But the good news is that meaning is all around us. We just need to look around and accept it.
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Thundering Cloud »

Daizan wrote: Thu Feb 21, 2019 4:28 am It doesn't strike me as particularly privileged to grow up working class and have had a brush with suicide. Many people grow up in a much worse socioeconomic position but live happy meaningful lives nevertheless.

My impression of the situation is that you, Thundering Cloud, have grown up deprived of direction or meaning. This is a rather common phenomenon in our culture, saturated to the bone in rationalization and materialism as we are.

Yours is not a dilemma of privilege but a dilemma of deprivation. But the good news is that meaning is all around us. We just need to look around and accept it.
My life has been very hard in other ways, yes. Often short on meaning because I am the only one around me who even seeks it. I actually have no regrets about growing up working class; I never dealt with food scarcity or poverty, but I never had the opportunity to be snobby either. But I would have liked to have known what a real family is… I've had to reject both of my parents (separately, as they are divorced) from my life; they only care about themselves and just use me.
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Thundering Cloud »

TharpaChodron wrote: Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:45 am Focusing on your own privilege is a distraction. Remember impermenance is one of the key Buddhist teachings. I was just on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. I listened to so many people from way up north saying over and over again how lucky they were to have avoided the latest winter storms and -41 below weather. But guess what, they had to rejoin their fellows back in the frozen tundra and they're there now. So, if you truly want to use your privelege wisely remind yourself and others that it's all impermanent etc.
The essence of my question is really about what to do with the gifts I currently have. How not to waste them.

As I mentioned, I have a knack for teaching mathematics; I discovered this when I taught in graduate school as part of a fellowship. I ran my own class soup to nuts, and also ran a weekly help session (specifically for Calculus) in conjunction with another TA. I was about as magnetic as a math teacher could get… I was the only grad student in the math department teaching a course with absolutely no attendance policy. I consider attendance / participation grades to be BS, and I sure didn't need one anyway, my class was packed every single day. The course coordinator who came to audit my class couldn't find a seat. I had to change sections one week into classes one semester, and students changed their schedules to follow me until my new section was booked up. Something similar happened with the help session… I literally had a line of students out the door who were willing to forego help from the other TA to wait for me.

Since grad school, I have not taught really, only tutored a few people. Mostly that was due to financial concerns; education is expensive and teaching doesn't pay well. But it really bugs me when I hear stories of people who aren't pursuing their dreams due to difficulties with mathematics, because I'm quite sure I could have helped them past that had I been there. If taught correctly, math is easy and intuitive, as it should be. But it's a stumbling block for so many smart people…

Clearly, there is at least one specific thing, other than practice, I should probably devote more of my time to doing…
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by stevie »

Thundering Cloud wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 10:34 pm
stevie wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 7:56 pm 'wasting one's life' is a very strange concept for me.
Is it one that doesn't make sense?
yes, in the context of how Dharma appears to me, it doesn't make sense.
Thundering Cloud wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 10:34 pm I have been at the brink of suicide in the past. The sense of having wasted my life is what stopped me. It is that strong.

I should do something constructive with the talents I have at my disposal right now.
That's perfectly ok. The way things appear to an individual is the only basis this individual may deal with being. So what makes sense for one individual doesn't necessarily make sense for another individual.
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Thundering Cloud »

stevie wrote: Thu Feb 21, 2019 7:50 am
Thundering Cloud wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 10:34 pm
stevie wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 7:56 pm 'wasting one's life' is a very strange concept for me.
Is it one that doesn't make sense?
yes, in the context of how Dharma appears to me, it doesn't make sense.
Please elaborate?
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by stevie »

Thundering Cloud wrote: Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:27 am
stevie wrote: Thu Feb 21, 2019 7:50 am
Thundering Cloud wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 10:34 pm

Is it one that doesn't make sense?
yes, in the context of how Dharma appears to me, it doesn't make sense.
Please elaborate?
Please accept my apologies but I can only refer you to qualified Dharma teachers. I am not a teacher and using words that appear appropriate from within my sphere of experience may be utterly misleading since even if my experience might be separated from afflictive ignorance it still would be pervaded by cognitive ignorance.
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Thundering Cloud »

stevie wrote: Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:29 am
Thundering Cloud wrote: Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:27 am
stevie wrote: Thu Feb 21, 2019 7:50 am
yes, in the context of how Dharma appears to me, it doesn't make sense.
Please elaborate?
Please accept my apologies but I can only refer you to qualified Dharma teachers. I am not a teacher and using words that appear appropriate from within my sphere of experience may be utterly misleading since even if my experience might be separated from afflictive ignorance it still would be pervaded by cognitive ignorance.
I will accept if you do not feel comfortable sharing your thoughts. However, as I see it, we learn from one another. Perhaps I will not understand what you see, or perhaps I may disagree with you. I think both are still better than not having the conversation at all. Even if I disagree, I tend to keep chewing things over as matter of habit, and may come around later. I learn from experience; I don't learn from lack of it.
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Queequeg »

As a fellow prone to humble bragging myself: Stop it.
Thundering Cloud wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 7:06 pm How do you ensure you are not wasting your life, knowing you likely have gifts to bear for others, but being unsure of what they are?
You sound young. I assure you, its a passing condition. Life will happen to you soon enough and all these things you worry about will drop from your mind.

You want to serve others? Then just do it. Doing it will test whether you actually have any gifts.
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

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Queequeg wrote: Thu Feb 21, 2019 5:10 pm As a fellow prone to humble bragging myself: Stop it.
Thundering Cloud wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2019 7:06 pm How do you ensure you are not wasting your life, knowing you likely have gifts to bear for others, but being unsure of what they are?
You sound young. I assure you, its a passing condition. Life will happen to you soon enough and all these things you worry about will drop from your mind.

You want to serve others? Then just do it. Doing it will test whether you actually have any gifts.
What you sense is not wrong. I am young in some ways but not in others. I am more accurately inexperienced.

I already know that I have gifts by virtue of doing. I just haven't capitalized on them.
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Re: The Dilemma of Privilege

Post by Queequeg »

Capitalized?

C'mon. Look at the language you're using.

"Whilst I had such power and good fortune, yet I thought: `When an untaught ordinary man, who is subject to ageing, not safe from ageing, sees another who is aged, he is shocked, humiliated and disgusted; for he forgets that he himself is no exception. But I too am subject to ageing, not safe from ageing, and so it cannot befit me to be shocked, humiliated and disgusted on seeing another who is aged.' When I considered this, the vanity of youth entirely left me.

"I thought: `When an untaught ordinary man, who is subject to sickness, not safe from sickness, sees another who is sick, he is shocked, humiliated and disgusted; for he forgets that he himself is no exception. But I too am subject to sickness, not safe from sickness, and so it cannot befit me to be shocked, humiliated and disgusted on seeing another who is sick.' When I considered this, the vanity of health entirely left me.

"I thought: `When an untaught ordinary man, who is subject to death, not safe from death, sees another who is dead, he is shocked, humiliated and disgusted, for he forgets that he himself is no exception. But I too am subject to death, not safe from death, and so it cannot befit me to be shocked, humiliated and disgusted on seeing another who is dead.' When I considered this, the vanity of life entirely left me."
-Buddha

That's the starting point. That's where samvega kicks in. That's when your hair catches on fire. That is what takes all your gifts and burns them in a bonfire of vanities.

I look at the folks giving advice here and they're all long time practitioners, themselves gifted. What are they telling you? Just practice. All these thoughts are just a thicket of views.

There's only one way out.

Just do it.

Experience comes from doing.

Happy trails! :smile:
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
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