I read the book now - thanks for the tip. It´s very orthodox, but to the point. I particularly enjoyed the sections on good communication. Even if there was some challenging parts for me, I feel better now after reading.
Nonetheless, according to this book I´m a partial failure as a layman since I have no big interest in wealth (of course I want to get back to work to earn cash, I´m on disability pension at the moment). E.g. if a wife would leave her husband if he does´nt go for success and acquire wealth, then I have no chance *lol*.
Since I´m a householder bodhisattva, I can tolerate medium wealth. I have an apartment which I will inherit from my parents, proper clothes, food, multimedia system, computer, bicycle, but no vehicles. (Am I lucky?). It´s this feeling of being outside normal society norms that´s strange... But I guess a bodhisattva would come and go in society anyway.
This book and your answers does´nt make it clear whether I failed or not as a layman, but I don´t think I´m a bad person/Buddhist just because I lost a lot of things and ended up in a wordly mess.
It's not so difficult to be a good person, but to be genuinely kind takes courage because it can be downright dangerous.