family crap going on

Help required with personal difficulties.
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AvaLily
Posts: 29
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 9:28 pm

family crap going on

Post by AvaLily » Sun Jul 17, 2016 5:12 pm

:tantrum: I am really really stressed at the moment family things going on
basically my 20 year old niece who use to take heroin but got clean and has a 9 month old great niece maybe going to be put in care
my mother who is 65 and looks after my 13 and 15 year old nieces says she wants to get custody of her ,me and my husband cant take her and my 21 year old niece works as a nurse my great niece and my 20 year old niece is at her house for the weekend unsure whats going to happen
i have mental health problems that is triggered by stress ...am worried that if my 20 year old niece loses custody of her little one that she may start taken heroin again the reason that she might be taken off her is because she smokes weed and the state of her house ad am worried my mum is going to take a heart attack or stroke because she under so much dress also my mother says that there is nothing wrong with me that i should try harder to cope with my life She also calls me an :quoteunquote: attention seeker :quoteunquote: because i hear voices and see things
she said am just too lazy to work and that am wasting my life

Am having a hard time relaxing because i dont know whats going on worried about family members feel like i want to self injure but i havent
feel like turning off my phones and just letting them get on with it but if i do that ill upset family members and make them stressed
so i cant do that :shrug: so tired of this
am trying to meditate but my mind keeps going back to this :crazy:

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kirtu
Former staff member
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Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:29 pm
Location: Baltimore, MD

Re: family crap going on

Post by kirtu » Sun Jul 17, 2016 6:18 pm

I'm sorry to hear that you are having problems. Make sure that you really find time daily to relax totally. Also, during meditation when thoughts come up, don't pursue them.

Ultimately one expression of the Buddha's teaching is complete and total peace. Try to be peaceful with family members (I know this can be difficult).

You may need to take to a community helper of some kind (therapist, counselor, social worker) to work out the issues.

Here is a happy dance for you (ironically taken from a very unpeacefull but great Japanese samurai movie):

phpBB [video]


This always makes me happy.


Kirt
Kirt's Tibetan Translation Notes

"Even if you practice only for an hour a day with faith and inspiration, good qualities will steadily increase. Regular practice makes it easy to transform your mind. From seeing only relative truth, you will eventually reach a profound certainty in the meaning of absolute truth."
Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche.

"Only you can make your mind beautiful."
HH Chetsang Rinpoche

Jeff H
Posts: 650
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2014 8:56 pm
Location: Vermont, USA

Re: family crap going on

Post by Jeff H » Sun Jul 17, 2016 7:31 pm

I would add, AvaLily, that your avatar makes me feel happy, and serene. She is very beautiful. Does she represent a positive aspect of your life, and are you ever able to feel that, even briefly?
We who are like children shrink from pain but love its causes. - Shantideva

Punya
Posts: 1147
Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:50 pm

Re: family crap going on

Post by Punya » Sun Jul 17, 2016 9:40 pm

Would your niece let you help her clean up the house? Even if it's in poor repair, if she comes to the attention of the authorities, they would at least see that she is making an effort and it would create a healthier environment for her and child. At the same time it would make you feel like you are helping rather than feeling helpless.

Your mum just doesn't understand the nature of your illness so you could practice having compassion for her (even if you don't feel it to begin with). Later, when I have time, I will PM you a lovely short practice, which helps to counter the negative comments of others.
Just as the trunk of an ordinary tree
Lying in the forests of the Malaya mountains
Absorbs the perfume of sandal from the moist leaves and branches
So you come to resemble who whomever you follow.

~Words of My Perfect Teacher

newbie
Posts: 185
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2016 2:11 am

Re: family crap going on

Post by newbie » Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:06 am

You try to solve everything in one move. It's not possible.
Discuss issues with mom with mom, issues with husband with husband, ...
Communication is key: communicate to convey your feelings and your ideas/take on the matter!
And relax to quiet your mind! A lot. Contemplate, be artistic, take a walk, do things that don't cloud the thinking!
Your perspective will be a fresh one then.

Good luck!

newbie
Posts: 185
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2016 2:11 am

Re: family crap going on

Post by newbie » Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:26 am

I sense myself as having been a bit inappropriate telling you what to do. I would like to apologize and suggest from here on a new beginning in that you follow according to your perceptions.
Thank you! :)

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AvaLily
Posts: 29
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 9:28 pm

Re: family crap going on

Post by AvaLily » Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:58 pm

Thank you all for replying to me
my niece and little one are staying with my mum until things have been sorted out and that she sees a drugs counselor every week
things are better now

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