eating and mental health problems

Help required with personal difficulties.
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AvaLily
Posts: 29
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 9:28 pm

eating and mental health problems

Post by AvaLily » Mon Jul 25, 2016 10:33 am

:namaste: i have been struggling with an eating disorder since i was 13 mainly because i was bulled a lot at school because am obese ( i was big when i was 13 ) over the last 4 years if gotten to the point where am not eating much i have been to my dr and she said because i have a high BMI ( 40 ) i cant see anyone about as my Body mass index ( BMI ) has to be 16 here in the uk and not diagnosed with one
i have tried looking for help with my eating disorder there use to be a group for people with eating disorder but there is none in Edinburgh the nearest one is in Glasgow witch is the next city 50 miles away For the last 4 years my weight has yoyo'd from 97kgs to 89 kgs and back again and am 4 "11 ( an short and that one of the reasons my BMI is so large ) Am also a member of a PRO ed site that i cant seem to get away from i cant ban it from my pc as the last time i use a program that i downloaded and it kinda had errors and pc system had to reinstalled i dont want to do that again
av tried not going into the forum but something always takes me back there
I cant get help i cant afford to pay for it the NHS has no funding for Obese people with eating disorders
i hate myself and i hate my body i dont want to eat today feel too fat and disgusting but i cant keep living with this

on top of that am a self injurer and have been since i was 13 ( had a lot of bad stuff going on then ) i havent cut for about a day
but i feel that i need to they dont do anything to help self injures in scotland NHS they just patch us up if its bad ( my self injury isnt that bad )
my psych knows i self injure and so does my dr
my husband is also a self injurer but he stopped 4 years ago for some reason i cant stop doing it i'll use anything i can get my hands on to cut while my husband is sleeping
My mental health has gotten so bad for a while now last week i was meditating with a group of people at a drop in center a guided one i had my eyes closed and i was meant to see a beach with waves etc and it was meant to feel safe
but during it with my eyes closed i see demons coming out of the dark some of them graphic i felt tense after as well when i was there i was going to stay at the drop in for a games night but i had no medication for emergencies ( extra i take that is approved by my dr and psych ) so we started to get ready to go home and i started panicking and crying when i got out side the drop in had to get my husband to calm me down and when we where on he bus home i took another panic attack
for the rest of the week i was seeing and hearing thing ( my dr knows about that ) i kinda felt too scared to meditate but i managed to get through it ok
unsure why i saw that while meditating my mental health has always been bad and its always due to stress according to my psych i need to try and destress but i get stress about my family and stress about small things that i shouldn't be stressing about
Sorry for off loading this here ...i could use clear heads than mine
i dont know if its ok for me to off load this here ...i hope i dont break any rules
:anjali:

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Kim O'Hara
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Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:09 am
Location: North Queensland, Australia

Re: eating and mental health problems

Post by Kim O'Hara » Mon Jul 25, 2016 12:26 pm

Hi, AvaLily,
I'm sorry to hear of your problems.
It's okay for you to off-load here if it helps, and you're not breaking any rules. However, we do have rules against members giving medical or psych advice to people with problems such as yours. Basically, it's too risky for everyone concerned - we don't know you well enough, and you can't know whether anyone giving you advice is even halfway sensible. It's good that you're seeing a doctor and a psych. They can help you better than anyone here.

However, I will say just one thing about your meditation experience. It is quite common for meditation to release stressful thoughts in such a way that we experience them again as if they are new. There's nothing wrong with that so long as we can see it for what it is and not be overwhelmed. A common technique is to dip in and out of the experience by returning to the breath focus (or whatever you're supposed to be concentrating on) whenever it gets too intense. In the end, you can examine the bad stuff without getting caught up in it, and just let it go.
A slightly different meditation technique may help - have you tried it with eyes half-open but not focused? It might help you stay aware of where you really are.

Metta,
:namaste:

Kim

Rishin
Posts: 70
Joined: Wed Nov 19, 2014 9:13 pm

Re: eating and mental health problems

Post by Rishin » Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:10 pm

Hi AvaLily,

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all of this. It sounds ever so hard, it must be very frustrating too.

This might seem like an odd question but are you managing to care for your wounds when you cut?

I think you have been incredibly brave opening up on here about all of this. Have you looked at the various support lines in the UK that might be able to offer you some support?

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AvaLily
Posts: 29
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 9:28 pm

Re: eating and mental health problems

Post by AvaLily » Tue Jul 26, 2016 7:51 pm

Thank you for the replies .
yes am able to clean my wounds my husband helps me as well i have bandages etc in the house My self injury is never so bad as needing to got to hospital treatment apart from when i have overdosed i have to be taking in as they need to keep an eye on me
my husband now locks the medication away so it rare that it happens as my husband keeps me safe
i also cant have money just in case i buy something to OD with

i got to a drop in and see people there i see my psych and gp every so often
i dont get therapy at all because i cant afford it and the NHS payed for some to help me with my anxiety and OCD

there is a crisis house near where i live i have been there a few times and it has helped in the past there are other places i can call as well
so i do have some support there and from my husband
My mother dont care at all and even calls my mental health attention seeking the rest of my family dont seem to care .

:anjali:

vinegar
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat May 28, 2016 12:00 am

Re: eating and mental health problems

Post by vinegar » Fri Jul 29, 2016 7:14 pm

buy a bike, has to have a least 32-11 cassette so there will be enough low gears

start riding uphill, do at least 300m uphill every day preferably 500m

rest every 5min if you need to, your fitness will rapidly improve week by week

you'll need to eat 3000 calories a day to sustain this, eat mostly carbohydrates, high fiber high carb plants such as sweet potatoes, pumpkins, bananas, etc, completely ditch all saturated fat

calories from meat and dairy are completely useless, do what all athletes do high carb.

calorie restriction is pointless, useless. putting yourself into a dysfunction state is illogical.

btw health services have to examine you and treat you if you claim you're in physical pain.. so tell them you're in pain. they don't have to treat you if you say you're just physically uncomfortable and in mental pain

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