Not feeling totally safe around my dad

Help required with personal difficulties.
narhwal90
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:10 am

Re: Not feeling totally safe around my dad

Post by narhwal90 » Mon Oct 02, 2017 11:48 pm

A "dry-drunk" syndrome is common with alcoholics who are refraining from drinking by force of will- quite often they are more difficult in this condition than when drinking but not always. Recovery for him will occur if and when he chooses it. Counselling with an active alcoholic or at least one in denial is frequently not helpful, though individual work for the family members may be. The trauma of living with active addiction and "dry-drunk" types runs deep and such individuals are at increased risk of addiction or at least un/semiconscious acting out the modeled behavior.

I will add, from personal experience, that growing up in addiction can lead to habits of mind and emotion that complicate future relationships. Such things can be very subtle and progressive. I experienced it as a progressive darkening of spirit and increased emotional dependence on those around me, decades after childhood- I got my fixes from dependency, booze never was a fix for me. I am confident in that diagnosis because my habits of mind and emotion are accurately described by Alanon, in which I ended up for other reasons- not just for recent behavior but the clarifications that the program brought for behaviors back into childhood.

A robust spiritual life can be a strong antidote to such trauma, forgiving the alcoholic is far healthier than holding onto resentment. Not succumbing to fear of anger, fear of crowds, selfish habits of mind and emotion may be other hurdles- all those things have been difficult for me.

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AvaLily
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Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 9:28 pm

Re: Not feeling totally safe around my dad

Post by AvaLily » Fri Oct 06, 2017 7:05 am

get out of there now its abuse either way i am concerned for your safety
please try and find somewhere ASAP

DGA
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Re: Not feeling totally safe around my dad

Post by DGA » Fri Oct 06, 2017 8:52 pm

doublerepukken wrote:
Sun Oct 01, 2017 3:58 am
I am living at home for a little while before I move overseas to begin a new career
Solution: Do yourself and your dad a favor and move overseas a little earlier than planned. That's what credit cards are for. Enjoy your travels!

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kirtu
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Re: Not feeling totally safe around my dad

Post by kirtu » Sat Oct 07, 2017 11:34 am

Move out.

Kirt
Kirt's Tibetan Translation Notes

"Even if you practice only for an hour a day with faith and inspiration, good qualities will steadily increase. Regular practice makes it easy to transform your mind. From seeing only relative truth, you will eventually reach a profound certainty in the meaning of absolute truth."
Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche.

"Only you can make your mind beautiful."
HH Chetsang Rinpoche

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