Lost and hesitant to find teacher
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Lost and hesitant to find teacher
Damn, my post just got lost.
OK. the thing is I get depressed and I am unable, nay, unwilling to do practice (formal practice at least) for 2 weeks to a month at a time. My Dharma practice diary shows I missed Jan to Mar without any practice. I have no recollection of what happened.
When I am happy and stable, I can practice for an hour at a time, but I am seldom happy and stable. I take 60 mg Prozac and 10 mg Olanzapine.
I am saddened yesterday and I fear I am spiralling into another depression.
Would any teacher have me?
OK. the thing is I get depressed and I am unable, nay, unwilling to do practice (formal practice at least) for 2 weeks to a month at a time. My Dharma practice diary shows I missed Jan to Mar without any practice. I have no recollection of what happened.
When I am happy and stable, I can practice for an hour at a time, but I am seldom happy and stable. I take 60 mg Prozac and 10 mg Olanzapine.
I am saddened yesterday and I fear I am spiralling into another depression.
Would any teacher have me?
- dharmagoat
- Posts: 2159
- Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:39 pm
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
Of course. You need the Dharma as much as anyone. Seek out a teacher in your own time, there is no urgency.Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Would any teacher have me?
Being unhappy is not a crime. In some ways it may actually help you see through the illusory nature of our daily lives.
Take heart, and stay with it. It will help if you focus on the things that bring you happiness. Make sure you look after your health.
All the best.
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
You are suffering. the Buddha , Dharma and Sangha are here to relive suffering therefore seek them out.
- Adamantine
- Former staff member
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Damn, my post just got lost.
OK. the thing is I get depressed and I am unable, nay, unwilling to do practice (formal practice at least) for 2 weeks to a month at a time. My Dharma practice diary shows I missed Jan to Mar without any practice. I have no recollection of what happened.
When I am happy and stable, I can practice for an hour at a time, but I am seldom happy and stable. I take 60 mg Prozac and 10 mg Olanzapine.
I am saddened yesterday and I fear I am spiralling into another depression.
Would any teacher have me?
Maybe this could benefit your view about your predicament: the words of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche on the topic: "Depression is a Highly Intelligent State of Being" http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/03/ ... -of-being/
I've also been present when someone asked Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche about their depression, and about taking medicine like Prozac. While this was to a specific woman, I will try to paraphrase to the best of my memory: he said something along the lines of it being important for some people to take these medicines to help them at first, because it could be far worse without them. In the meantime, they should also practice meditation. Eventually, through the results of the meditation practice, it may be possible to leave the medicines behind.
There's also a really good book about neuroscience and meditation related to depression you may find very helpful: Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidencehttp://www.amazon.com/Hardwiring-Happin ... 0385347316
The most important thing is to decide on a daily practice routine with total conviction, whatever you can do to start with: 15 min in the morning, before your breakfast or whatever: make it like brushing your teeth.. essential part of your day. It is best if you get personal instruction though, and yes, any teacher would have you: we are all suffering samsaric beings.. deeply sad in one way or another. That's precisely whom the Bodhisattvas have vowed to help.
Contentment is the ultimate wealth;
Detachment is the final happiness. ~Sri Saraha
Detachment is the final happiness. ~Sri Saraha
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
Of course. What might be most helpful at the moment is just to have some face-to-face contact with other Buddhists - is there a local group or temple you can visist? There is no need to make any early commitments, just spend some time with like-minded people. Also try to do a little meditation each day, even 5 or 10 minutes can be significant.Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Would any teacher have me?
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
Don't feel guilty about missing practice, if you honestly couldn't do it. If you can't, you can't. Do what you can, and start every day anew. Keeping a daily routine is not nearly as important as being kind, patient, etc.
If you are blacking out or experiencing memory gaps (as opposed to just forgetting or neglecting dharma practice), then this is a serious medical issue which you should definitely bring up with your doctor or psychiatrist.
If you are blacking out or experiencing memory gaps (as opposed to just forgetting or neglecting dharma practice), then this is a serious medical issue which you should definitely bring up with your doctor or psychiatrist.
(no longer participating on this board)
- Jangchup Donden
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
If you have no recollection of what happened for three months, you might be suffering from some kind of bi-polar disorder. It would be good to find a professional psychologist to talk to.Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:My Dharma practice diary shows I missed Jan to Mar without any practice. I have no recollection of what happened.
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
But please please please do not look to a dharma group as a substitute for therapy for the illness. Dharma people can support someone recovering from illness, but are not therapists. Take you medication, see your doctors, see your lama and do what they tell you to do. Practise will come when it can and when it is possible.
Phenomenon, vast as space, dharmata is your base, arising and falling like ocean tide cycles, why do i cling to your illusion of unceasing changlessness?
- dharmagoat
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
Sound advice, for sure.byamspa wrote:But please please please do not look to a dharma group as a substitute for therapy for the illness. Dharma people can support someone recovering from illness, but are not therapists. Take you medication, see your doctors, see your lama and do what they tell you to do. Practise will come when it can and when it is possible.
Although if you read the title of the thread you would have noticed that the OP does not have a lama/teacher.
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
What is your formal practice?Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Damn, my post just got lost.
OK. the thing is I get depressed and I am unable, nay, unwilling to do practice (formal practice at least) for 2 weeks to a month at a time. My Dharma practice diary shows I missed Jan to Mar without any practice. I have no recollection of what happened.
When I am happy and stable, I can practice for an hour at a time, but I am seldom happy and stable. I take 60 mg Prozac and 10 mg Olanzapine.
I am saddened yesterday and I fear I am spiralling into another depression.
Would any teacher have me?
Sitting meditation can be easy for people miss essecially if your depressed just got off work/tired and just dont "feel like doing it"
If you get in that slump again instead of not doing any practice at all,try doing Nembutsu or a Mantra recitation during that time period,its easy and you can do it anywhere,until you get your formal practice going again.
Peace and love
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
Yes. Most definitely.Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Would any teacher have me?
As well as continuing with medicine and therapy is there a dharma centre where you can volunteer to be depressed and perhaps garden, renovate or otherwise be useful in your depression?
Don't give up people will be doing puja for you.
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
Who is your teacher lobster ?..I'll go first. Mine is Chogyal Namkhai Norbu.lobster wrote:Yes. Most definitely.Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Would any teacher have me?
As well as continuing with medicine and therapy is there a dharma centre where you can volunteer to be depressed and perhaps garden, renovate or otherwise be useful in your depression?
Don't give up people will be doing puja for you.
“You don’t know it. You just know about it. That is not the same thing.”
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
Adamantine wrote:Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Damn, my post just got lost.
OK. the thing is I get depressed and I am unable, nay, unwilling to do practice (formal practice at least) for 2 weeks to a month at a time. My Dharma practice diary shows I missed Jan to Mar without any practice. I have no recollection of what happened.
When I am happy and stable, I can practice for an hour at a time, but I am seldom happy and stable. I take 60 mg Prozac and 10 mg Olanzapine.
I am saddened yesterday and I fear I am spiralling into another depression.
Would any teacher have me?
Maybe this could benefit your view about your predicament: the words of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche on the topic: "Depression is a Highly Intelligent State of Being" http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/03/ ... -of-being/
I've also been present when someone asked Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche about their depression, and about taking medicine like Prozac. While this was to a specific woman, I will try to paraphrase to the best of my memory: he said something along the lines of it being important for some people to take these medicines to help them at first, because it could be far worse without them. In the meantime, they should also practice meditation. Eventually, through the results of the meditation practice, it may be possible to leave the medicines behind.
There's also a really good book about neuroscience and meditation related to depression you may find very helpful: Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidencehttp://www.amazon.com/Hardwiring-Happin ... 0385347316
The most important thing is to decide on a daily practice routine with total conviction, whatever you can do to start with: 15 min in the morning, before your breakfast or whatever: make it like brushing your teeth.. essential part of your day. It is best if you get personal instruction though, and yes, any teacher would have you: we are all suffering samsaric beings.. deeply sad in one way or another. That's precisely whom the Bodhisattvas have vowed to help.
“You don’t know it. You just know about it. That is not the same thing.”
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
This is exactly the same off-topic question you asked me in another thread, Simon E.Simon E. wrote: Who is your teacher lobster ?..I'll go first. Mine is Chogyal Namkhai Norbu.
What difference does it make who someones teacher is ? There's nothing in the Terms of Service which says teachers must be named to strangers on the internet.
Leave the polluted water of conceptual thoughts in its natural clarity. Without affirming or denying appearances, leave them as they are. When there is neither acceptance nor rejection, mind is liberated into mahāmudra.
~ Tilopa
~ Tilopa
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
Absolutely not you are quite correct.
On a thread addressing the need to find a teacher its hardly off-topic however.
And answering it is not compulsory is it ? Neither is saying that you haven't got one anything to hide..when and if that is the case.
If you spend time in real world discussions with Dharma practitioners it is the most common and normal question in the world....Why wouldn't it be ?
Its an obvious way to put replies in a context.
On a thread addressing the need to find a teacher its hardly off-topic however.
And answering it is not compulsory is it ? Neither is saying that you haven't got one anything to hide..when and if that is the case.
If you spend time in real world discussions with Dharma practitioners it is the most common and normal question in the world....Why wouldn't it be ?
Its an obvious way to put replies in a context.
“You don’t know it. You just know about it. That is not the same thing.”
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
When I have chats with other Dharma practitioners away from a computer, I don't question them about their teacher, nor they mine, there are plenty of other things to talk about.Simon E. wrote: If you spend time in real world discussions with Dharma practitioners it is the most common and normal question in the world....Why wouldn't it be ?
Its an obvious way to put replies in a context.
I also think it's being rather obsessive and odd to address a complete stranger who you haven't even seen, with "My teacher is so-and-so, who's yours ?" in the middle of a discussion about vegetarianism, in my case .
Its like having to answer intrusive questions and be in some unfriendly man's guru cult, if you're a cautious woman like myself, yet want to chat to other practitioners in an internet group.
Leave the polluted water of conceptual thoughts in its natural clarity. Without affirming or denying appearances, leave them as they are. When there is neither acceptance nor rejection, mind is liberated into mahāmudra.
~ Tilopa
~ Tilopa
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
It's hardly an intrusive question online--at least not unusually intrusive. In real-time, meat-world conversations, there's more context available from which one can deduce where one stands. Online, it's a different story: it takes a few more steps to sort out which practitioners are indeed serious from those who are not.
Which is to say that the question "who's your teacher" in online Dharma discussions is a cipher for "do you have a teacher," which is a cipher for... "are you an internet loon or are you legit"? It's a way to find out if the individual has any credibility, fairly or not.
I am not saying this is Simon E's intention in posing this question, by the way. I assume Simon's intentions are what he says they are (he was looking for context). These are simply generalizations made from about ten years' experience of online Dharma.
Which is to say that the question "who's your teacher" in online Dharma discussions is a cipher for "do you have a teacher," which is a cipher for... "are you an internet loon or are you legit"? It's a way to find out if the individual has any credibility, fairly or not.
I am not saying this is Simon E's intention in posing this question, by the way. I assume Simon's intentions are what he says they are (he was looking for context). These are simply generalizations made from about ten years' experience of online Dharma.
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
IME, among Tibetan Buddhists in Asia, it is extremely common and considered normal to ask someone, even a complete stranger, who their Teacher is. This is not considered rude, intrusive, or inappropriate.
Pema Chophel པདྨ་ཆོས་འཕེལ
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
I've had more than one teacher - and 2 of them are dead now....but that's irrelevant because I'm completely amazed that if someone says they don't have a teacher, or they don't want to name their teacher, that they're somehow considered to be "an internet loon" without any credibility if they don't "play ball " to nosey questions.Jikan wrote:Which is to say that the question "who's your teacher" in online Dharma discussions is a cipher for "do you have a teacher," which is a cipher for... "are you an internet loon or are you legit"? It's a way to find out if the individual has any credibility, fairly or not.
I don't live in Asia, so that's irrelevant to my own circumstances. I think its intrusive and rude in the context of the internet where other people aren't visible. I could be giving my personal details to a psychopath for all I know.pemachophel wrote:IME, among Tibetan Buddhists in Asia, it is extremely common and considered normal to ask someone, even a complete stranger, who their Teacher is. This is not considered rude, intrusive, or inappropriate
However,obviously I must have joined the wrong website.
Have fun.
Leave the polluted water of conceptual thoughts in its natural clarity. Without affirming or denying appearances, leave them as they are. When there is neither acceptance nor rejection, mind is liberated into mahāmudra.
~ Tilopa
~ Tilopa
Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher
one of the dangers sharing a teachers name online here in America is strangers calling them up and stalking them. there are some real sickos out there.
Mind and mental events are concepts, mere postulations within the three realms of samsara Longchenpa .... A link to my Garden, Art and Foodie blog Scratch Living