dharmagoat wrote:Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:dharmagoat wrote:What have you read that you find uplifting? Considering your situation I would recommend focusing on this. There is definitely Buddhist literature that can have the opposite effect.
I find parts of the Sanghata Sutra have that intended effect on me.
Are you familiar with the Chenrezik Puja? That might be a practice that would suit you.
Not if you are not in neutral gear, and can't get into it at all.
But to answer the question, I like Tangton Gyalpo's sadhana when I feel OK.
I can be OK with daily practice for a week, 7-line prayer, Vajra Guru mantra, Chenrezig sadhana. It's easy and doesn't take an hour. Then after one week, it hits me and knocked out for the next week.
It's not just practice. It's difficult to do anything productive. And then there are these existential doubts. Nothing matters. This is pointless. This is stupid. Shit happens.
I can only curl up and try to do self-absorbed "Me-time", trying to recreate a God realm of sensual desire to soothe myself.
Maybe I am just lazy and doth protest too much....