Low self esteem

Forum for discussion of Tibetan Buddhism. Questions specific to one school are best posted in the appropriate sub-forum.
Post Reply
Miroku
Posts: 662
Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2015 11:18 am

Low self esteem

Post by Miroku » Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am

Hello there,

what practice would you recommed for someone who has to deal with low self esteem? Would tara or chenrezig be okay?
Recently I have been going through quite a rough time thanks to school and low finances that are even more depleted by my dentist and etc. I try to deal with it, but low self esteem and that voice that constantly tells me how much I suck don't help much. :D So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
Child, if you are not hypocritical and out of control, that is conduct.
~ Padampa Sangye

You say such clever things to people, but you do not apply them to yourself.
The faults within you are the ones to be exposed.
~ Padampa Sangye

User avatar
Grigoris
Global Moderator
Posts: 17358
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: Greece

Re: Low self esteem

Post by Grigoris » Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:55 am

Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
Hello there,

what practice would you recommed for someone who has to deal with low self esteem? Would tara or chenrezig be okay?
Recently I have been going through quite a rough time thanks to school and low finances that are even more depleted by my dentist and etc. I try to deal with it, but low self esteem and that voice that constantly tells me how much I suck don't help much. :D So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
Try to find the "self" that "sucks".
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde

User avatar
kirtu
Former staff member
Posts: 5878
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:29 pm
Location: Baltimore, MD

Re: Low self esteem

Post by kirtu » Mon Oct 16, 2017 12:32 pm

Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
Hello there,

what practice would you recommed for someone who has to deal with low self esteem? Would tara or chenrezig be okay?
Recently I have been going through quite a rough time thanks to school and low finances that are even more depleted by my dentist and etc. I try to deal with it, but low self esteem and that voice that constantly tells me how much I suck don't help much. :D So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
People have a lot of this. On the one hand much of this is generated because of ego grasping. OTOH for many people there are real problems under the surface (so it's not simplistically ego grasping alone).

Tara would be good but it depends on you. Different people with respond to blessings from the deities differently. That's why we have innumerable deity practices even though ultimately all the deities are the same.

Kirt
Kirt's Tibetan Translation Notes

"Even if you practice only for an hour a day with faith and inspiration, good qualities will steadily increase. Regular practice makes it easy to transform your mind. From seeing only relative truth, you will eventually reach a profound certainty in the meaning of absolute truth."
Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche.

"Only you can make your mind beautiful."
HH Chetsang Rinpoche

Losal Samten
Posts: 1426
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2014 4:05 pm

Re: Low self esteem

Post by Losal Samten » Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:45 pm

Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
Bodhicitta helps remove one's incessant focus on oneself('s problems).
Lacking mindfulness, we commit every wrong. - Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche
འ༔ ཨ༔ ཧ༔ ཤ༔ ས༔ མ༔
ཨཱོཾ་མ་ཏྲི་མུ་ཡེ་སལེ་འདུ།།

User avatar
Vasana
Posts: 1712
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:22 am

Re: Low self esteem

Post by Vasana » Mon Oct 16, 2017 4:25 pm

Contemplating the precious human rebirth and it's determining factors can be a method of shifting the attention away from ideas of your personal worth or qualities towards seeing the qualities you already possess to have met and kept an interest in the Dharma. Recognise the probability of meeting and then following the teachings is relatively low globally. Recognizing any and all of the progress you've already made, skills you've learnt and the positive qualities you possess and are developing can help you remember the good stuff, both the worldy and the dharma. Recognize any negative self talk and replace it with realistic self talk - " I am learning, I am healing, I am capable" etc.

Tonglen can help you develop compassion for all beings who are also experiencing a similar suffering due to low self esteem. It can also help you develop compassion for yourself. Pema Chodron advises a basic minimum version of tonglen is to simply remember that "other people feel this too" , the moment you experience any sadness or suffering due to low self esteem or any other kind of suffering. That way, when those feelings arise, you're in tune with suffering and the roots of compassion but it's not so fixed on yourself or on one point or one being.

I imagine Tara helps too since low self esteem may be related with hope and fear.
'When alone, watch your mind. When with others, watch your speech'- Old Kadampa saying.

Monlam Tharchin
Posts: 1672
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2012 7:11 am

Re: Low self esteem

Post by Monlam Tharchin » Mon Oct 16, 2017 4:53 pm

Losal Samten wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:45 pm
Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
Bodhicitta helps remove one's incessant focus on oneself('s problems).
:thumbsup:

Instead of others needing to support ever-changing ideas of what makes me good, bodhicitta is like the quiet confidence of a mother caring for her child, full of love.

Terma
Posts: 191
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2011 11:07 am

Re: Low self esteem

Post by Terma » Mon Oct 16, 2017 5:17 pm

Lojong and tonglen are great antidotes.

Never forget that you are also a suffering being so you need to have great compassion for yourself as well!

:consoling:

User avatar
cyril
Posts: 118
Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:47 am

Re: Low self esteem

Post by cyril » Mon Oct 16, 2017 5:22 pm

Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
Hello there,

what practice would you recommed for someone who has to deal with low self esteem? Would tara or chenrezig be okay?
Recently I have been going through quite a rough time thanks to school and low finances that are even more depleted by my dentist and etc. I try to deal with it, but low self esteem and that voice that constantly tells me how much I suck don't help much. :D So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
Based on my own experience, I'd put my money on Tara. If you have received transmission from ChNN Rinpoche, you might want to add the 21st action mantra to strengthen the la and to repel negativity. Low self-esteem weakens the protective energy which can down-spiral into further problems.
"You have to make the good out of the bad because that is all you have got to make it out of."
- Robert Penn Warren -

User avatar
tranides
Posts: 39
Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:34 pm
Contact:

Re: Low self esteem

Post by tranides » Mon Oct 16, 2017 6:44 pm

Chod is also great as it directly works with ego clinging (and its also very melodic and with beautifull visualosation practice).

regards,
Luke

Post Reply

Return to “Tibetan Buddhism”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: falcon, Google [Bot], heart, Jeff H, Kaung, Lobsang Chojor, Miroku, pemachophel, PeterC, philji, R17, Shimali, Spelare, udawa and 94 guests