How to overcome family estrangement?

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bcol01
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How to overcome family estrangement?

Post by bcol01 » Fri Dec 15, 2017 8:38 am

When you've done all you can but to no avail.

DGA
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Re: How to overcome family estrangement?

Post by DGA » Fri Dec 15, 2017 3:20 pm

You don't have to overcome it. Maybe you don't need to? It's OK to be estranged from your family if:

*you do not harbor any ill will toward them. Instead, you wish all your family members only the very best.

*you live your life honorably, with integrity. Do your best.

*you don't worry about it. Move on and get on with the task at hand, which is living your life.

It's possible that some members of your family may wish to reconnect with you. That's OK too, and it's up to you if you want to maintain those relationships.

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Minobu
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Re: How to overcome family estrangement?

Post by Minobu » Fri Dec 15, 2017 5:55 pm

everything that comes before you from other people is due to your karma.

if someone hurts you it is a manifestation of your karma...you deserve this , for you have acted in said manner before.

when we acquire gazzillions of these acts from our past ...they can be expiated with one serious encounter with another in some hurtful manner.

you rejoice for acting with a grateful acceptance of this karmic fact and having zero revenge unto that person for harming you and with only the complete opposite ..thanking them inside for being there for you ...not out loud lol...but an inner truthful gratitude...comes about with your practice of Lotus Buddhism...
we welcome any discomfort brought upon us by others...we are sort of other worldly you know...this samsara is not our true nature nor the place we want to be forced into living in...so we employ lotus buddhism to end it.

how we react will either end the cycle or retie the knot so to speak.

with time and lots of Lotus Buddhism you will master this...

it isn't easy but expiating karma and learning from it at the same time is our way...

it is the way of a true Bodhisattva ..

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Bois de Santal
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Re: How to overcome family estrangement?

Post by Bois de Santal » Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:22 pm

I know from my own experience that attempting to make things better will more likely exacerbate the existing problem rather than resolve it. After all, neither of you can stop being who you are.

My strategy nowadays is to strengthen my own faith and practice, with the aim that as circumstances evolve I can seize the opportunity to mend things a little when the right moment arises. Of course, I'm thinking about my own family estrangement which may be different to yours.

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Queequeg
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Re: How to overcome family estrangement?

Post by Queequeg » Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:34 pm

I don't have much to add to the good advice above.

You might consider this:
Letter to Brothers

Nichiren was writing to two brothers who had become estranged from their father on account of their practice of the Lotus. Nichiren counseled them to remain steadfast on their path. Their father was said to be acting out the influence of Mara, trying to distract them from the practice of Dharma. They were eventually reconciled with their father who also took up the Lotus.
Those who, even with distracted minds,
Entered a stupa compound
And chanted but once, “Namo Buddhaya!”
Have certainly attained the path of the buddhas.

-Lotus Sutra, Expedient Means Chapter

I think each human being has things to find out in his own life that are inescapable. They’ll find them out the easy way or the hard way, or whatever.
-Jerry Garcia

illarraza
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Re: How to overcome family estrangement?

Post by illarraza » Sun Dec 17, 2017 3:31 am

bcol01 wrote:
Fri Dec 15, 2017 8:38 am
When you've done all you can but to no avail.
By attaining Enlightenment, your family seven generations back and seven generation forward will also obtain Enlightenment. That is how you can alleviate family estrangement.

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