How do you know when a friendship is over?

[bcol01]

?

[tkp67]

what is the basis of the friendship in question?

[john perry]

When things like interest, desire, and seeking are empty.

[LastLegend]

Don’t have any lol

[Ayu]

There is no general rule for personal relationships. Everything depends and one has to ponder about it newly every time again.

But for figuring out 'what is right or wrong?' and also 'what is my part in this relationship?' I find the 4th and 5th paragraph of the '37 practices of a bodhisattva' very helpful.

http://www.viewonbuddhism.org/resources ... attva.html

4)
Regardless of how long spent living together, good friends and relations must some day depart.
Our wealth and possessions collected with effort are left fare behind at the end of our life.
Our mind, but a guest in our body`s great guest house, must vacate one day and travel beyond.
Cast away thoughts that concern but this lifetime - the Sons of the Buddhas all practise this way.

(5)
From staying together with friends who misguide us, our hatred, desires and ignorance grow.
With little time left to continue our studies, we don`t think of Dharma; we meditate less.
Our love and compassion for all sentient beings are lost and forgotten while under their sway.
Sever such ties with misleading companions - the Sons of the Buddhas all practise this way.

(BTW the translation 'Sons of the Buddhas' is misleading. Bodhisattva is neither male nor female. It is just a human being, no he or she.)

And sorry, I overlooked that this is Nichirien and I do not know anything about that lineage.

[emaho]

When a friend keeps overstepping your boundaries even though you ask him/her not to, and it's really painful to you, it's time to distance yourself. Doesn't necessarily mean you have to completely break up with that person, but if you've met with that friend once a week, maybe turn it down to once in two months. And look at your feelings after you met that "friend" - do you feel better than before or worse? When you have an appointment and something comes up that forces you to postpone - are you sad or relieved? Compassion doesn't mean that you have to let people step all over you

[Caoimhghín]

(BTW the translation 'Sons of the Buddhas' is misleading. Bodhisattva is neither male nor female. It is just a human being, no he or she.)

I think "sons of Buddha" is supposed to translate "buddhaputra." This term will often appear in the vocative plural while the Buddha addresses his audience in Mahāyāna sūtras.

I'm not sure of the gender of the term tbh. It means son. In Chinese, the term is 佛子, "Buddha's child(ren)" and, I think, gender-neutral.

[Ayu]

(BTW the translation 'Sons of the Buddhas' is misleading. Bodhisattva is neither male nor female. It is just a human being, no he or she.)

I think "sons of Buddha" is supposed to translate "buddhaputra." This term will often appear in the vocative plural while the Buddha addresses his audience in Mahāyāna sūtras.

I'm not sure of the gender of the term tbh. It means son. In Chinese, the term is 佛子, "Buddha's child(ren)" and, I think, gender-neutral.

I was told so by a translator (Tibetan - German). And I referred to the word Bodhisattva. In the German translation (which I know) the last sentence of every verse is "This is the practice of the Bodhisattvas.”

[lelopa]

bodhisattva is male too.....
females would be bodhisattvis

[Fortyeightvows]

I think "sons of Buddha" is supposed to translate "buddhaputra." This term will often appear in the vocative plural while the Buddha addresses his audience in Mahāyāna sūtras.

I'm not sure of the gender of the term tbh. It means son. In Chinese, the term is 佛子, "Buddha's child(ren)" and, I think, gender-neutral.

This is all correct. Which is why one can specify- 男孩子, etc.

If you look at some old fpmt transtaions, they actually say "sons and daughters"

[明安 Myoan]

When one or both of you stop bringing out each other's good qualities.