Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

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Fortyeightvows
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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Fortyeightvows » Tue Aug 20, 2019 7:04 pm

Justsit already shared from the tergar website

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by wfj0 » Tue Sep 10, 2019 6:09 am

I feel compassion and sad that you are projecting negative reasons for being transgender. Diverse sexuality and gender are typical parts of the human experience, like growing nails and hair: they are part of you and you work with them as needed. The causes and conditions of all individual and collective karmas are immeasurable for an unenlightened being. You simply cannot know.

Please, work directly with your situation and avoid coming up with reasons to justify your gender, sexuality, as these are a reflection of a lack of self-worth. You are worth it. You have buddha nature. You have a precious human body. Your gender may become a valuable source of spiritual insight more than you could have ever imagine, in the same way an enemy will eventually become as valuable as a guru. Consider yourself fortunate that you are able to glimpse and appreciate the truth of yourself. I wish you the very best.

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Agdistis » Wed Sep 18, 2019 6:31 am

>Attaining a favourable rebirth is a result of practising merit in this life. To choose a specific rebirth would, I think, require rather a lot of merit.
Well, since I made this thread, I've gotten a very lucrative contract which will massively improve my standard of living. I prayed to Tara to give me rebirth as a female in all my lifes, and told her that I would become her helper if she did that for me.

I also carved a Tara idol which I keep on my person now at all times - pic related. I put shards of glass into the sockets for eyes.
IMG_0706.JPG
IMG_0706.JPG (1.99 MiB) Viewed 546 times
I have the specific intention of giving some of this money to the needy to gain merit. I'd imagine I'd have to give quite a lot of money for many lifetimes to get a specific incarnation.
>If this sutta https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .than.html gives a realistic idea of anyone's chances of a human rebirth
If we're human, doesn't that imply that we're born with karma that assures another human rebirth? Assuming every rebirth has a karmic cost, I'd assume that most people's karma is fairly stable in the sense of continuous human rebirths unless a truly terrible act is committed.
>And the sutta does advise listeners as to a better course of action in this life than wishing for a particular future life, given how lucky they are to be human now and listening to the dharma
Pursuit is the opposite of enlightenment. I've only had glimpses of non-self because as soon as that peace washes over me, I crave non-self which eliminates the non-self state due to craving.

I can't grasp non-self, and I realize that craving for non-self must be eliminated. But if I eliminate it, then what? I won't care if I'm in a non-self state. And since 'form and emptiness are identical' is the realization which defines non-self, then the state of craving is identical to the state of non-self. Meaning it doesn't matter how you feel, you're already enlightened and there's nothing to do.

My heart tells me that I will never obtain my true desire - when I finally obtain my ideal incarnation, I'll be bored of it. At that point, I would only be motivated to do things to assure another identical rebirth.

What's the point of ending rebirth if craving and non-self are identical? There is no 'correct' act or thought.
>So ever since I was very young, the notion of reincarnation has infatuated me because it's a way to becoming female.
>There are easier and more reliable ways, you know.
I'm on HRT, and I'm pretty sure my health insurance covers Sexual Reassignment surgery.
>I feel compassion and sad that you are projecting negative reasons for being transgender
The state of being transgender is the state of wanting to be something other than what you already are. It's craving of such a powerful, painful variety that it makes some people kill themselves.

To be honest, I reject suicide mostly because;

1: Buddhism condemns it;
2: Being suicidal would cause people to take away my autonomy;
3: Bigots mock me with transgender suicide statistics, and I want to prove them wrong.

But I wouldn't wish being transgender on my worst enemy. It's a terrible illness which complicates everything in your life.
>Please, work directly with your situation and avoid coming up with reasons to justify your gender, sexuality, as these are a reflection of a lack of self-worth. You are worth it. You have buddha nature
How can the self have worth if it's empty?
>You have a precious human body
Which has brought me to Buddhism, and led me to ask Tara if I could be her follower.
>Your gender may become a valuable source of spiritual insight more than you could have ever imagine, in the same way an enemy will eventually become as valuable as a guru
It has. All my insight has come from it, in fact. My quest to be a woman is certain to ultimately be fruitless, just like any other type of craving.
>I wish you the very best
I wish you the best as well.

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Simon E. » Wed Sep 18, 2019 11:10 am

The idea of desiring a specific form for a future rebirth is problematic, and with respect shows a lack of awareness of the Buddhist teaching on Rebirth which differs quite significantly from, for example the ‘Hindu ‘belief in reincarnation. Hinduism teaches that we have a spark or soul that is born into body after body until being released from bodily form by God realisation.

Buddhism teaches something radically different. That in essence we are consciousness, and that consciousness will find a form to manifest in in one of several possible realms. Form follows consciousness plus karma vipaka.
Until we reach a quite advanced state of realisation the form taken is beyond our control. And once we have reached such a state then the gender of that form whether polarised or less polarised, binary or non binary is likely to be of less importance to us.
“The difference between us and Tara is that she knows she doesn’t exist”.

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Agdistis » Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:08 pm

>Buddhism teaches something radically different. That in essence we are consciousness, and that consciousness will find a form to manifest in in one of several possible realms
From what I've been told, emptiness is not nothingness. Yet, nothing of a person survives death. Consciousness is like a dinner plate upon which we eat our karmic fruits. Moreover, we're all eating off the same giant plate, and exactly what food belongs to who is up for debate.

The western materialist Atheist conception of death is that of eternal blackness and thoughtlessness forever - nothingness.

If emptiness is not nothingness, then Buddhism doesn't teach the end of consciousness. It teaches that consciousness is not memory, and that eventually we forget our old identity and invent a new one. The Buddha described a being as an aggregation, which is the identity. Supposedly, Buddhas can remember their past lifes because they can perceive all truth, and thus can infer the past from the present - no memory is inherited from any specific past life.

So, in a way, I'm already every woman in the universe. It's my attached and limited self-view which prevents me from perceiving from the eyes of these women. My desire to be a woman myself blinds me to their reality. Death will end my perception of this body, and allow a new body's life to be perceived.

My first point is, I'll be the consciousness that perceives the life of these future bodies. My second point is that enlightenment leads you back to emptiness, which leads to a blank slate, which leads to the craving that causes incarnation in the first place. No final enlightenment is ever possible, and there no liberation because there is no prison to escape from. Dukkha can never end.

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Nemo » Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:52 pm

justsit wrote:
Fri Aug 02, 2019 1:00 pm
:popcorn:
Indeed.
P.S. Transwomen are women.

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by justsit » Wed Sep 18, 2019 3:51 pm

Just a few comments:
Agdistis wrote:
Wed Sep 18, 2019 6:31 am
..The state of being transgender is the state of wanting to be something other than what you already are. It's craving of such a powerful, painful variety that it makes some people kill themselves.
That is not my understanding nor experience. When I transitioned I became what I already am, not "other than" what I already am. There's a difference. Transitioning changed my body, not my "self."

But I wouldn't wish being transgender on my worst enemy. It's a terrible illness which complicates everything in your life.
Being transgender is not an illness. To me, there are many, many worse things in life, and transitioning has certainly made my life much better because I am now my authentic self. (I'm not going into the discussion of Buddhist concept of self here, merely the common usage of the word).

I'm sure each of us experiences these things differently due to our life circumstances. Transitioning has been one of the great joys of my life. If you are having a very difficult time, perhaps you might want to consult a gender therapist who can help deal with dysphoria.

All the best to you in your journey.

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by KathyLauren » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:04 pm

Agdistis wrote:
Wed Sep 18, 2019 6:31 am
If we're human, doesn't that imply that we're born with karma that assures another human rebirth?
Karma gets used up. The karma that caused you to be born as a human this time may be used up now. The karma that controls your future rebirth is what you do in this life.
The state of being transgender is the state of wanting to be something other than what you already are. It's craving of such a powerful, painful variety that it makes some people kill themselves.
I emphatically disagree with this. The attachment in my life was to being seen as "normal". I was designated male at birth without regard to who I really was. Because my parents raised me that way, I had an extreme attachment to appearing male, and it made me miserable.

The process of transitioning was one of letting go of that attachment. I had to renounce my attachment to conforming to others' expectations. When I did so, what remained was happiness.

Om mani padme hum
Kathy

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Nemo » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:15 pm

I had an army buddy in the INT trade and a relative come out as trans when they were both about 50. It was really hard for them. I think they were incredibly brave. Since then I met a few trans people here and in Asia. I made an effort to try and understand their experience.

I came to the realization that they were very unhappy and being treated as real women made them significantly happier. This cost me nothing but confronting some internal taboos which is generally fun for me anyway. I suggest you be more generous since that would be the Buddhist thing to do. There will never be many trans people. They are a threat to no one. When treated with respect and not abused they can be an incredible resource. A person who understands living as both genders is really interesting. Why not just be kind? No one is going to force you to get married or something.

If you do this for a few years and maintain those relationships you realize they actually were women all along.
Last edited by Miroku on Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Edited with the moving of problematic posts, but left here as I generally approve it. Miroku

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Miroku » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:36 pm

I have locked this thread and cleaned it a little. I am giving out a warning. Whatever your opinion on this issue is do NOT be a Richard about it. I understand that this topic invites some to express their opinion, however as Buddhists we should be mindful about an important fact. We have a person suffering from a dysphoria and oppression here. If you want to be mean to their face you are a giant Richard. This is not a discussion whether X is Y. This is a rather personal thread so act accordingly. I have left Nemo's post here as it is compassionate and gets the message across.
I came to the realization that they were very unhappy and being treated as real women made them significantly happier. This cost me nothing...
Act accordingly.
“Observing samaya involves to remain inseparable from the union of wisdom and compassion at all times, to sustain mindfulness, and to put into practice the guru’s instructions”. Garchen Rinpoche

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by tkp67 » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:40 pm

I believe the buddha's equanimity and compassion is such that if someone have found a way to make their outer being match their inner voice this indicates a deep direct karmic bond with buddha. I have had the privilege of being able to see this gift manifest and it has strengthened me in my own practice.

:anjali:

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by tkp67 » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:41 pm

Miroku wrote:
Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:36 pm
I have locked this thread and cleaned it a little. I am giving out a warning. Whatever your opinion on this issue is do NOT be a Richard about it. I understand that this topic invites some to express their opinion, however as Buddhists we should be mindful about an important fact. We have a person suffering from a dysphoria and oppression here. If you want to be mean to their face you are a giant Richard. This is not a discussion whether X is Y. This is a rather personal thread so act accordingly. I have left Nemo's post here as it is compassionate and gets the message across.
I came to the realization that they were very unhappy and being treated as real women made them significantly happier. This cost me nothing...
Act accordingly.
If our path leads to equanimity how can we get there if we don't posses it in our hearts and minds?

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Sādhaka » Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:45 pm

Nemo,

There is an transgender person at my corporate job who was in the military; and he’s a pretty cool guy. Interestingly enough he’s non-PC on many issues, and is pro-freedom of speech for the most part. He is sensitive to transgender issues in some ways obviously, but has also joked and laughed about the ‘self-identifying as an apache attack helicopter’ meme.

I call him by his chosen name, but never refer to him as ‘her’ or ‘she’.

Now I don’t agree with you 100%. Although I see where you’re coming from.

And from now on, you can all call me Richard; or even Giant Richard if you want lol
The Bodhicittasopashika & The bsgrags pa skor gsum

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by justsit » Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:41 pm

Sādhaka wrote:
Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:45 pm
... has also joked and laughed about the ‘self-identifying as an apache attack helicopter’ meme.
That's the only trans person I've ever heard of who found that insult amusing. Maybe because he's military he has a thick skin, but trans people in general don't find it anything to laugh about. Or maybe he's just going along to get along.

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Johnny Dangerous » Thu Sep 19, 2019 6:34 pm

justsit wrote:
Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:41 pm
Sādhaka wrote:
Thu Sep 19, 2019 2:45 pm
... has also joked and laughed about the ‘self-identifying as an apache attack helicopter’ meme.
That's the only trans person I've ever heard of who found that insult amusing. Maybe because he's military he has a thick skin, but trans people in general don't find it anything to laugh about. Or maybe he's just going along to get along.
I've met a number of trans people who've joked about the whole "non-binary" or genderfluid identification thing and it was my impression that there is some tension between these communities in places, well, in fact I've witnessed some of it first hand.

That said, the criticism and joking is of a -much- different tone than the hateful stuff that would come from deadnaming and misgendering people or whatever.

Some of this stuff is about the larger cultural mileu we live in with regard to gender fluidity and whatnot. I think it's hard for many people to understand that there are real people affected by these things when they see only the "pop culture" or "culture war" end of the issue, some which is pretty silly, and tends to trivialize.

Simply remembering how many trans people are victims of violence should help to remind cis-gendered people (including DW denizens) that regardless of how one feels about the larger social issues which might be loosely connected, this is a very real thing and should be taken seriously, including respecting people's gender identification.

As Miroku mentioned it costs nothing for people to do this, and doesn't require one to believe anything - just to make the minimum effort to be decent to another human being.
"...if you think about how many hours, months and years of your life you've spent looking at things, being fascinated by things that have now passed away, then how wonderful to spend even five minutes looking into the nature of your own mind."

-James Low

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Agdistis » Fri Sep 20, 2019 6:23 am

>That is not my understanding nor experience. When I transitioned I became what I already am, not "other than" what I already am. There's a difference. Transitioning changed my body, not my "self."
From what I've been told, what self exists which we can bring the body into accordance with? The only thing changing is the body. So, we want(ed) to be something other than what we already are (Or rather were.)
>Being transgender is not an illness. To me, there are many, many worse things in life
>I'm sure each of us experiences these things differently due to our life circumstances. Transitioning has been one of the great joys of my life. If you are having a very difficult time, perhaps you might want to consult a gender therapist who can help deal with dysphoria
I get called 'sir.' Despite a year of HRT, no one sees me as female. If I can't be seen as a woman by others, I have no particular interest in living. Transitioning was a Hail Mary for me which hasn't gotten me what I wanted.

While I've considered cosmetic surgery, it's a pointless waste if I could reincarnate as a woman. I just want this life to be over as quickly as possible.
>All the best to you in your journey.
Thank you. I wish you the best as well.
>Karma gets used up. The karma that caused you to be born as a human this time may be used up now. The karma that controls your future rebirth is what you do in this life
An animal can't realize emptiness, or even begin the path towards it. Any human on the other hand, even if he isn't a Buddhist, can simply by contemplation become a private Buddha.

For example, I wasn't born a Buddhist, but even before I'd heard of Buddhism I'd come to similar conclusions - such as the notion that all sensation is pain, and no escape is ever possible. I was raised an atheist, and told that after death I'd experience eternal blackness. While I've heard of a Mahakalpa, which ends the entire universe, I'm not sure if Buddhism proposes a final end. Buddhism cured my fear of eternal blackness by telling me that even nothing is impermanent.

Thus, people can realize emptiness on various levels, and this will change their behavior as it's changed mine. This continuous karmic maintenance prevents a human from being reborn as an animal, because he's incarnated as many, many progressively more miserable humans before he becomes an animal.

I've heard this viewpoint expressed by many Buddhists;

>https://puredhamma.net/working-towards- ... in-suttas/
>Getting a “human existence (bhava)” is rare. But once one grasps a human bhava, one could be born (jati) many times as a human until the kammic energy for that human bhava is exhausted
>I emphatically disagree with this. The attachment in my life was to being seen as "normal". I was designated male at birth without regard to who I really was. Because my parents raised me that way, I had an extreme attachment to appearing male, and it made me miserable
I hadn't thought about it that way, but I would say I have a fear of appearing female. Mostly because I don't think I 'pass' as a woman, but I guess that's an attachment to looking like a certain type of woman. Two contradictory attachments.

The other thing I'll say is that if your profile picture is ant indication, you look a lot more like a woman than I do.
>He is sensitive to transgender issues in some ways obviously, but has also joked and laughed about the ‘self-identifying as an apache attack helicopter’ meme.
I'd say all identities have as much reality as that meme as a real gender. I see no internal female self - I crave a female body.

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Miroku » Fri Sep 20, 2019 10:32 am

Agdistis wrote:
Fri Sep 20, 2019 6:23 am
I get called 'sir.' Despite a year of HRT, no one sees me as female. If I can't be seen as a woman by others, I have no particular interest in living. Transitioning was a Hail Mary for me which hasn't gotten me what I wanted.

While I've considered cosmetic surgery, it's a pointless waste if I could reincarnate as a woman. I just want this life to be over as quickly as possible.
This is something we cannot help you with I am afraid. Maybe it would be best to talk about this with a skilled psychologist.

What I can say is do not give up please. Don't take the view of emptiness and non-existence of self as some nihilistic philosophy. Joy, love and happiness are very well possible. Look at the preciousness of human life, there are amazing chapters on in it The Words of my Perfect Teacher and also other books concerned with lojong or mindtraining. The point is, despite having a lot of pain, anxiety and suffering in general, human life is so amazing. Unlike animals we can achieve so many things, unlike hell beings we usually don't suffer so much, unlike gods we donẗ have to be so lost in our pride and sensual enjoyments. Every single minute is worth it. And every single one of us is worth it. The point of Buddhadharma is not "oh, we will suffer and btw you don't really exist", no the point of Buddhism is love, love for your fellow humans and also for yourself. So please give yourself time and do your best to take care of yourself.
“Observing samaya involves to remain inseparable from the union of wisdom and compassion at all times, to sustain mindfulness, and to put into practice the guru’s instructions”. Garchen Rinpoche

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Simon E. » Fri Sep 20, 2019 10:59 am

This might be seen as a cold response to your pain, but believe me it isn’t. You again refer to being ‘reincarnated as a women’. The Buddhas Dharma cannot help you with this ambition for a number of reasons, the main one being that Buddhism does not teach reincarnation in the sense that you are using the term. What you are suggesting is that there is a core being an ‘atta’ which takes different bodies in birth after birth. But Buddhadharma says something quite different. It says that our bodies our impulses our senses our will our intentions all arise dependently and have no permanence and are ultimately the cause of suffering if clung to.
So actually your state of limbo, without downplaying it for you, could be the motivation needed to see through the whole embodied thing once and for all and find true freedom.
“The difference between us and Tara is that she knows she doesn’t exist”.

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by LastLegend » Fri Sep 20, 2019 12:35 pm

Agdistis wrote:
Thu Aug 01, 2019 1:52 am
Hi! So, I've thought within a Buddhist worldview since 1999, but I've never taken refuge in the three jewels. By that I mean I've never felt mature enough to be able to make such a decision.

So ever since I was very young, the notion of reincarnation has infatuated me because it's a way to becoming female. As soon as I had an internet connection, I began reading about Buddhism, which led to me actually reading the Diamond sutra.

During my research, I discovered that a contention of Buddhism was that a person is born in a specific place, among a certain people, and this birth defines your Dharma - the proper behavior of a person of your nation.

As a westerner, this meant Christianity. However, after talking to various Christians, I came across an issue which seems insurmountable; I don't want to spend eternity as a man. They tell me that God won't give me a female body. Moreover, whether I could even receive the sacrements is a matter of dispute.

At which point, I have to pretend to go along with it. It makes me so sad to have to abandon Christianity, but my entire interest in it was in having a community and fulfilling my Dharma. Leaving your culture like this is bad Dharma, but it doesn't have room for my wishes. I should note that I feel alienated from both 'White' America and modern 'Woke' America for entirely non-political reasons, but I feel more of a connection to White America than Woke America. Thus, I feel more of a connection to Christianity than to the politics which support my rights.

Being a transgender isn't supposed to be a good thing in Buddhism - I've never found a good citation, but it seems as if transgender people are caused by adultery or excess-sexuality? I know my situation on Earth is the result of my behavior and attachments in past lifes. I must have ruined everything for this to have happened to me.

How can assure that I'm reincarnated as a particular type of person? I know this is an ego-centric desire, that my ego is an illusion, and that this desire will bring me Dhukka in the form of disappointment among other things. :soapbox:
Buddha’s teaching is about liberation from suffering of rebirth involuntarily. Whatever you are going through right now related to physical form and perceptions is what makes you suffer. Liberate yourself from that as well. Focus on total liberation. Study the 5 aggregates!
Clear!
Make personal specific vows to [for example, absorb karma of sentient beings], so that they can reach enlightenment quickly. With deep faith and trust, effects will be experienced immediately. If we can’t fulfill our vows, no problem Buddhas will help us do us; thus generate merit and strength to speed us up and lead us straight to unborn wisdom. This is not a matter of truth or not but faith and willingness. That’s what I was taught. Be aware take karma of sentient beings can be overwhelming. Only do what we are capable of.

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Re: Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

Post by Agdistis » Fri Sep 20, 2019 5:55 pm

>What I can say is do not give up please
I would never commit suicide, that's all I can say.
>Don't take the view of emptiness and non-existence of self as some nihilistic philosophy
>Joy, love and happiness are very well possible. Look at the preciousness of human life
Buddhism seems to provide at least the promise of more chances at joy, love and happiness. But I'm being told these future people won't be me - that I'll enter eternal blackness.
>Unlike animals we can achieve so many things, unlike hell beings we usually don't suffer so much, unlike gods we donẗ have to be so lost in our pride and sensual enjoyments
But don't they enter into eternal blackness as well? Even being a god is pointless, because it ends in eternal blackness. So no one was ever a god or an animal and then incarnated as a human - all those gods and animals had their consciousness snuffed out and will never perceive again.
>This might be seen as a cold response to your pain, but believe me it isn’t. You again refer to being ‘reincarnated as a women’. The Buddhas Dharma cannot help you with this ambition for a number of reasons, the main one being that Buddhism does not teach reincarnation in the sense that you are using the term. What you are suggesting is that there is a core being an ‘atta’ which takes different bodies in birth after birth
So when I die, I'll stop perceiving anything? What about Phowa, or 'consciousness transfer?'
>So actually your state of limbo, without downplaying it for you, could be the motivation needed to see through the whole embodied thing once and for all and find true freedom
If I won't be conscious after death, who cares? Whether I see beyond embodiment won't matter, because the result (Unconsciousness for all eternity) is the same.

Also, if we enter eternal blackness forever and won't perceive another body, doesn't that imply other people are paying for my karma? No matter what karma I build up, some other consciousness will have to deal with it.

If 'true freedom' is eternal blackness, well... I guess this is why I fear emptiness.
>Buddha’s teaching is about liberation from suffering of rebirth involuntarily. Whatever you are going through right now related to physical form and perceptions is what makes you suffer. Liberate yourself from that as well. Focus on total liberation. Study the 5 aggregates!
If I enter into eternal blackness after death and won't perceive future bodies, it seems to me that no matter what I do I get the same result.

I can see the point in helping others not feel quite as bad before they die, I'm not bitter, but if eternal blackness awaits us I see no point in anything. We might as well, as a species, stop breeding, sit quietly in comfortable chairs and go extinct to prevent more beings from coming into existence just to evaporate.

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