Obtaining a specific rebirth as a transgender

[Simon E.]

Where did you get the idea that you would be entering eternal blackness? No one is saying anything like that.

[LastLegend]

Op,

Nature if described is innate knowing. Realized person would be someone who has completely removed arising of subject versus object division.

[Matt J]

Well, Tenzin Palmo has made the vow to be reborn in a female form until she attains enlightenment. I don't see why Agdistis cannot make a similar vow. Quite frankly, I support any reason to practice the dharma. I recall teachers saying that even hating a dharma teacher could be a good thing because at least then you have a connection.

https://www.lionsroar.com/tenzin-palmo- ... ccomplish/

Tenzin Palmo said:
I then told my master that I wanted to become a Togdenma. He was so happy. He said he’d been praying I would re-establish this order. However, when the monks heard about the project, they declared, ‘a woman is not going to live with the Togden.’ And so, I had to renounce.” She was the only nun in the middle of about a hundred monks. “I made the vow to be reborn in the feminine form until I attained enlightenment.

From Reflections on a Mountain Lake, p163:

Understanding rebirth gives us power over the future because we can direct things in this lifetime the way we want them to be in the future. This consciousness will keep going. The vows we take in this lifetime will continue to bear fruit in future lifetimes. Of course, from a Buddhist point of view, we can question the actor is. But right now we are talking on the relative plane.

This might be seen as a cold response to your pain, but believe me it isn’t. You again refer to being ‘reincarnated as a women’. The Buddhas Dharma cannot help you with this ambition for a number of reasons, the main one being that Buddhism does not teach reincarnation in the sense that you are using the term. What you are suggesting is that there is a core being an ‘atta’ which takes different bodies in birth after birth. But Buddhadharma says something quite different. It says that our bodies our impulses our senses our will our intentions all arise dependently and have no permanence and are ultimately the cause of suffering if clung to.
So actually your state of limbo, without downplaying it for you, could be the motivation needed to see through the whole embodied thing once and for all and find true freedom.

[Simon E.]

It may be that Tenzin Palmo has attained sufficiently to make such a vow meaningfully, although I wonder to what degree she is making a political statement. However that is not an option open to most of us who do not live lives of monastic discipline, we can make as many vows as we want we are in the absence of prolonged and one pointedness of practice unlikely to alter the general direction of our conscious stream. And most importantly it does not alter the fact that we have no ‘atta’ which is ‘reincarnated’ in any sense analogous to the Hindu understanding..

[Matt J]

I don't know about that. I am a fairly lazy, mediocre practitioner. I am not saying that out of a sense of humility. I am fairly consistent with practice, but I waste most of my time. However, the time I do spend I try to implement the instructions I have to the best of my ability. And these practices have transformed my life in ways I could never imagine. So I would be hesitant to underestimate the power of the Vajrayana.

It may be that Tenzin Palmo has attained sufficiently to make such a vow meaningfully, although I wonder to what degree she is making a political statement. However that is not an option open to most of us who do not live lives of monastic discipline, we can make as many vows as we want we are in the absence of prolonged and one pointedness of practice unlikely to alter the general direction of our conscious stream. And most importantly it does not alter the fact that we have no ‘atta’ which is ‘reincarnated’ in any sense analogous to the Hindu understanding..

[Simon E.]

Tenzin Palmo spent three years in solitary retreat in a cave in the high Himalayas..with no heating source.
Who knows what she is capable of. Most of us will be limited in what happens at the moment of death, what happens next will be determined by karmic winds and our vipaka.
I think it behoves anyone with an interest in Buddhadharma to investigate the difference between rebirth as taught by the Buddha, and reincarnation.

[Agdistis]

>Where did you get the idea that you would be entering eternal blackness? No one is saying anything like that.

If;

1: Consciousness is to mean my ability to perceive the universe,
2: If rebirth is true,
3: If consciousness is required to perceive the sensation of these future births,
4: And if consciousness is impermanent because there is no soul to be transfered,

than eternal blackness is the result. I was told;

>The Buddhas Dharma cannot help you with this ambition for a number of reasons, the main one being that Buddhism does not teach reincarnation in the sense that you are using the term. What you are suggesting is that there is a core being an ‘atta’ which takes different bodies in birth after birth

I take this to mean I won't be perceiving these future bodies and will instead perceive eternal blackness.

>Nature if described is innate knowing. Realized person would be someone who has completely removed arising of subject versus object division.

Years ago, after reading some of Crowley's 'Yoga for Yahoos,' I was laying in bed one morning, trying to go to sleep after a wasted night on the internet, and I heard the clock on the wall chime. For the briefest of moments, I felt identical to the clock. But I and the clock were still both there - it was like a new meta-being had formed by our fusion.

Years later, I had done drugs, and I looked around the room and merged with it. I instantly pat myself on the back, and the perception of non-duality ceased.

>Well, Tenzin Palmo has made the vow to be reborn in a female form until she attains enlightenment. I don't see why Agdistis cannot make a similar vow. Quite frankly, I support any reason to practice the dharma

But if I won't be perceiving these future bodies, what's the point?

>And most importantly it does not alter the fact that we have no ‘atta’ which is ‘reincarnated’ in any sense analogous to the Hindu understanding..

So we won't be perceiving these future bodies and lifes? If we don't enter into eternal blackness and we don't perceive these future lifes, what do we perceive after death?

I can find this statement by the Buddha;

>https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .nymo.html
>Is consciousness permanent or impermanent?" — "Impermanent, venerable sir." — "Now is what is impermanent pleasant or painful?" — "Painful, venerable sir." — "Now is what is impermanent, what is painful since subject to change, fit to be regarded thus: 'This is mine, this is I, this is my self'"? — "No, venerable sir.

So, I guess that's it than? Consciousness ends, then nothing forever and ever?

[Fortyeightvows]

This site is not the place for this.
Please try to find help from a qualified professional.

As another user also wrote:

This is something we cannot help you with I am afraid. Maybe it would be best to talk about this with a skilled psychologist.

[Agdistis]

This site is not the place for this.
Please try to find help from a qualified professional.

Well, I think I have my answer. And honestly, I don't think they could help me either.

I thank everyone for their help, and also for being truthful with me. I'm sorry for bending everyone's ears with all this.

[Misty]

Hi Agdistis,

Sometimes life exposes us to insensitive views others hold that are harmful to our health and well being and its so important that we focus our efforts on recognizing and not internalizing these views.

You are inherently worthy of love, care and support, never forget that

So it's important to find a real life community that is supportive and inspiring.

Have you connected with your local LGBTQ community?
If not, PFLAG is great at helping with this
and others have mentioned supportive sangha communities.

I think you've received some helpful advise here from people who have traveled similar roads and others
who have not, but are people who care.
When a loved one in my family came to me for support we went to a Gender Diversity Specialist
and they were amazing in helping us get connected with the community supports and services we needed
and some wonderful friendships developed through these connections.

[Johnny Dangerous]

The more I read this thread, the more I think you really just need to ground youeself in some basic Buddhist teachings and stop all this. You have so many misconceptions about Dharma it's hard to even know where to start. I'm not saying that to be mean, but all the talk about eternal blackness etc. has nothing to do with any Dharma teaching, as such it's pretty hard for anyone to address it.

Instead of ruminating about all these future possibilities, maybe your mental energy would be better spent finding an LGBTQ - friendly or focused sangha/practice group, and starting from there. I think this and a good mental health professional would do you a world more good than this conversation can, and as such, I'm locking it.