Dating

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Trik444
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Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:27 am

Dating

Post by Trik444 » Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:50 am

I recently made an incredible connection with a woman, and we practice at the same Temple. (Yeah I know 2 Buddhist with a connection who would have thought). So I guess technically we are dating. Problem is she feels a little concern about our Master seeing right through her, like we are doing something wrong. Especially when she drops her son off for a weekend of instruction from master, and we spend time together. I tried reassuring her that it's not like a one-night stand and nothing to feel guilty about. Pretty sure no one at Temple knows what's going on (no PDA), so any outside advice is appreciated.
Thank you

muni
Posts: 4885
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:59 am

Re: Dating

Post by muni » Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:30 am

Hello Sir,

There can be relationships without grasping for selfish purpose. Many Masters are married as well. The welfare of each other and all around is priority, supporting each other, encouraging each other, inspiring each other.

Talk about together with the Master, please. He/She can provide you what is appropriate in this case, to bring clarity and guide.


All the best.
Phenomena adorn emptiness, but never corrupt it.

Only if you have developed the love and compassion of relative bodhichitta can absolute bodhichitta – the very essence of the Great Perfection and the Great Seal – ever take birth in your being. Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche.

Simon E.
Posts: 7444
Joined: Tue May 15, 2012 11:09 am

Re: Dating

Post by Simon E. » Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:10 am

Trik444 wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:50 am
I recently made an incredible connection with a woman, and we practice at the same Temple. (Yeah I know 2 Buddhist with a connection who would have thought). So I guess technically we are dating. Problem is she feels a little concern about our Master seeing right through her, like we are doing something wrong. Especially when she drops her son off for a weekend of instruction from master, and we spend time together. I tried reassuring her that it's not like a one-night stand and nothing to feel guilty about. Pretty sure no one at Temple knows what's going on (no PDA), so any outside advice is appreciated.
Thank you
I suspect that either you or she or both are carrying the conditioning of another religion and projecting it onto your teacher.
Hard to say without knowing more about your lineage.
Why not ask him?
“You don’t know it. You just know about it. That is not the same thing.”

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.

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Berry
Posts: 290
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:19 am

Re: Dating

Post by Berry » Tue Jan 14, 2020 5:14 pm

Trik444 wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:50 am
Problem is she feels a little concern about our Master seeing right through her, like we are doing something wrong. Especially when she drops her son off for a weekend of instruction from master, and we spend time together.
Can I ask the age of your girlfriend's son, please ?
Leave the polluted water of conceptual thoughts in its natural clarity. Without affirming or denying appearances, leave them as they are. When there is neither acceptance nor rejection, mind is liberated into mahāmudra.

~ Tilopa

Trik444
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:27 am

Re: Dating

Post by Trik444 » Thu Jan 16, 2020 4:30 am

Son is 15

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Berry
Posts: 290
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:19 am

Re: Dating

Post by Berry » Thu Jan 16, 2020 11:06 am

I don't understand why your girlfriend would want to deceive her teacher and others at the temple, or leave her 15 yr old son there while she's with you.

I would therefore suggest that you have some calm, sensible discussions about the situation with both your girlfriend and your teacher.
Leave the polluted water of conceptual thoughts in its natural clarity. Without affirming or denying appearances, leave them as they are. When there is neither acceptance nor rejection, mind is liberated into mahāmudra.

~ Tilopa

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