The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

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Queequeg
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The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Queequeg » Tue May 28, 2019 7:17 pm

From time to time, we have laugh out loud, spit-your-beverage-on-your-keyboard posts. Here's where we can collect them.

To post, use the quote function, copy-and-paste, so that source thread can be captured.

To start us off:

From, "Who do Psychics talk to?"
£$&^@ wrote:
Tue May 28, 2019 3:19 pm
Viach wrote:
Tue May 28, 2019 2:36 pm
Who do psychics talk to in TV shows like "Britain’s Psychic Challenge" when they say they talk to people who have died long ago? After all, according to Buddhism, they have long been reborn.
1) Themselves.
2) Their accountants.
Those who, even with distracted minds,
Entered a stupa compound
And chanted but once, “Namo Buddhaya!”
Have certainly attained the path of the buddhas.

-Lotus Sutra, Expedient Means Chapter

There are beings with little dust in their eyes who are falling away because they do not hear the Dhamma. There will be those who will understand the Dhamma.
-Ayacana Sutta

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Aemilius
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Aemilius » Fri May 31, 2019 4:28 pm

3. People who are still in the in-between state
4. People who have been reborn as gods or devas of the kamaloka heavens, or as gods or devas in the rupaloka or arupaloka heavens
5. People who have been reborn elsewhere in the wheel of becoming
6. People who have been reborn in the purerealms, i.e. in the realms beyond samsara
svaha
"All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.
They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
Sarvē mānavāḥ svatantrāḥ samutpannāḥ vartantē api ca, gauravadr̥śā adhikāradr̥śā ca samānāḥ ēva vartantē. Ētē sarvē cētanā-tarka-śaktibhyāṁ susampannāḥ santi. Api ca, sarvē’pi bandhutva-bhāvanayā parasparaṁ vyavaharantu."
Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 1. (in english and sanskrit)

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Queequeg
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Queequeg » Fri May 31, 2019 4:42 pm

Aemilius wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 4:28 pm
3. People who are still in the in-between state
4. People who have been reborn as gods or devas of the kamaloka heavens, or as gods or devas in the rupaloka or arupaloka heavens
5. People who have been reborn elsewhere in the wheel of becoming
6. People who have been reborn in the purerealms, i.e. in the realms beyond samsara
Boo.
Those who, even with distracted minds,
Entered a stupa compound
And chanted but once, “Namo Buddhaya!”
Have certainly attained the path of the buddhas.

-Lotus Sutra, Expedient Means Chapter

There are beings with little dust in their eyes who are falling away because they do not hear the Dhamma. There will be those who will understand the Dhamma.
-Ayacana Sutta

boda
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by boda » Fri May 31, 2019 9:06 pm

Hmm, the topic seems to confirm my observation that the forum is generally lacking in humor. Taking ourselves too seriously is not a sign of spiritual progress. :|

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Grigoris
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Grigoris » Sat Jun 01, 2019 6:27 pm

Aemilius wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 4:28 pm
3. People who are still in the in-between state
4. People who have been reborn as gods or devas of the kamaloka heavens, or as gods or devas in the rupaloka or arupaloka heavens
5. People who have been reborn elsewhere in the wheel of becoming
6. People who have been reborn in the purerealms, i.e. in the realms beyond samsara
What is on the opposite end of the spectrum from gold?
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde

DharmaN00b
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by DharmaN00b » Sat Jun 01, 2019 7:02 pm

boda wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 9:06 pm
Hmm, the topic seems to confirm my observation that the forum is generally lacking in humor. Taking ourselves too seriously is not a sign of spiritual progress. :|
I pulled an all-nighter and trawled through 30 pages of 'the lounge' before falling into a stupor (sadface). I also laugh internally 99% of the time so no coffee came back out.

Jokes on me. :mrgreen:

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Yavana
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Yavana » Sat Jun 01, 2019 7:02 pm

Grigoris wrote:
Sat Jun 01, 2019 6:27 pm
Aemilius wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 4:28 pm
3. People who are still in the in-between state
4. People who have been reborn as gods or devas of the kamaloka heavens, or as gods or devas in the rupaloka or arupaloka heavens
5. People who have been reborn elsewhere in the wheel of becoming
6. People who have been reborn in the purerealms, i.e. in the realms beyond samsara
What is on the opposite end of the spectrum from gold?
Image

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Aemilius
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Aemilius » Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:56 am

Queequeg wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 4:42 pm
Aemilius wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 4:28 pm
3. People who are still in the in-between state
4. People who have been reborn as gods or devas of the kamaloka heavens, or as gods or devas in the rupaloka or arupaloka heavens
5. People who have been reborn elsewhere in the wheel of becoming
6. People who have been reborn in the purerealms, i.e. in the realms beyond samsara
Boo.
"In the in-between state you will see those that are similar to you (in consciousness)", Bardo Thödol. Similarly in the in-between state of life you will see and be in contact with those that are similar to you. The psychics are also people in the in-between state of life.
svaha
"All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.
They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
Sarvē mānavāḥ svatantrāḥ samutpannāḥ vartantē api ca, gauravadr̥śā adhikāradr̥śā ca samānāḥ ēva vartantē. Ētē sarvē cētanā-tarka-śaktibhyāṁ susampannāḥ santi. Api ca, sarvē’pi bandhutva-bhāvanayā parasparaṁ vyavaharantu."
Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 1. (in english and sanskrit)

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Queequeg
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Queequeg » Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:51 pm

Aemilius wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:56 am
Queequeg wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 4:42 pm
Aemilius wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 4:28 pm
3. People who are still in the in-between state
4. People who have been reborn as gods or devas of the kamaloka heavens, or as gods or devas in the rupaloka or arupaloka heavens
5. People who have been reborn elsewhere in the wheel of becoming
6. People who have been reborn in the purerealms, i.e. in the realms beyond samsara
Boo.
"In the in-between state you will see those that are similar to you (in consciousness)", Bardo Thödol. Similarly in the in-between state of life you will see and be in contact with those that are similar to you. The psychics are also people in the in-between state of life.
Uh huh.
Those who, even with distracted minds,
Entered a stupa compound
And chanted but once, “Namo Buddhaya!”
Have certainly attained the path of the buddhas.

-Lotus Sutra, Expedient Means Chapter

There are beings with little dust in their eyes who are falling away because they do not hear the Dhamma. There will be those who will understand the Dhamma.
-Ayacana Sutta

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Aemilius
Posts: 2353
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:44 am

Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Aemilius » Mon Jun 03, 2019 9:25 am

Grigoris wrote:
Sat Jun 01, 2019 6:27 pm
Aemilius wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 4:28 pm
3. People who are still in the in-between state
4. People who have been reborn as gods or devas of the kamaloka heavens, or as gods or devas in the rupaloka or arupaloka heavens
5. People who have been reborn elsewhere in the wheel of becoming
6. People who have been reborn in the purerealms, i.e. in the realms beyond samsara
What is on the opposite end of the spectrum from gold?
The opposite of matter is antimatter. Gold is one of the elements and its opposite would be antigold. Antigold is mentioned in this video about antimatter (at 2min12s)

svaha
"All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.
They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
Sarvē mānavāḥ svatantrāḥ samutpannāḥ vartantē api ca, gauravadr̥śā adhikāradr̥śā ca samānāḥ ēva vartantē. Ētē sarvē cētanā-tarka-śaktibhyāṁ susampannāḥ santi. Api ca, sarvē’pi bandhutva-bhāvanayā parasparaṁ vyavaharantu."
Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 1. (in english and sanskrit)

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Grigoris
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Location: Greece

Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Grigoris » Mon Jun 03, 2019 9:29 am

Aemilius wrote:
Mon Jun 03, 2019 9:25 am
Grigoris wrote:
Sat Jun 01, 2019 6:27 pm
Aemilius wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 4:28 pm
3. People who are still in the in-between state
4. People who have been reborn as gods or devas of the kamaloka heavens, or as gods or devas in the rupaloka or arupaloka heavens
5. People who have been reborn elsewhere in the wheel of becoming
6. People who have been reborn in the purerealms, i.e. in the realms beyond samsara
What is on the opposite end of the spectrum from gold?
The opposite of matter is antimatter. Gold is one of the elements and its opposite would be antigold. Antigold is mentioned in this video about antimatter (at 2min12s)

joke.png
joke.png (19.67 KiB) Viewed 597 times
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde

PeterC
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Joined: Tue May 20, 2014 12:38 pm

Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by PeterC » Mon Jun 03, 2019 10:29 am

I get the feeling that this thread isn't really working out as was intended

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Miroku
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Miroku » Mon Jun 03, 2019 10:36 am

PeterC wrote:
Mon Jun 03, 2019 10:29 am
I get the feeling that this thread isn't really working out as was intended
Dunno, looks like classic Dharma Wheel to me.
“Observing samaya involves to remain inseparable from the union of wisdom and compassion at all times, to sustain mindfulness, and to put into practice the guru’s instructions”. Garchen Rinpoche

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Yavana
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Yavana » Mon Jun 03, 2019 11:40 am

Miroku wrote:
Mon Jun 03, 2019 10:36 am
PeterC wrote:
Mon Jun 03, 2019 10:29 am
I get the feeling that this thread isn't really working out as was intended
Dunno, looks like classic Dharma Wheel to me.
Of course.

"Life is one continuous mistake." — Dogen / Japanese proverb

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catmoon
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by catmoon » Wed Jun 05, 2019 9:20 am

Well isn't this odd. I've devoted way more of my time here to humour than I should, but I didn't make the list. Maybe because a lot of it was Lolcat memes. Just ask Greg, he will testify that most of my many posts here are funny, if not outright laughable...

BTW I think you missed an important source of DW humour.... signatures and taglines.
Sergeant Schultz knew everything there was to know.

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Yavana
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Yavana » Wed Jun 05, 2019 10:05 am

catmoon wrote:
Wed Jun 05, 2019 9:20 am
BTW I think you missed an important source of DW humour.... signatures and taglines.

Sergeant Schultz knew everything there was to know.—catmoon's signature

"Speaking" of Sergeant Schultz...

Hitler, the Holocaust, and the Tiantai Doctrine of Evil as the Good: A Response to David R. Loy


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Dechen Norbu
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Re: The Lounge: Dharma Wheel Gold

Post by Dechen Norbu » Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:55 pm

:focus:
Queequeg wrote:
Fri Jun 07, 2019 6:17 pm

Its the Finger-Wagging Precept. "I shall not stop wagging my finger until all beings have been shamed."
:lol:

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